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i'm 23 and a mother of two children (both recently turned 4 and 2) and recently discovered i was pregnant (oct 6th 09) by a two night stand. i guess i shouldnt be TOO surprised i am pregnant considering we didnt use protection and i am not on any birthcontrol because it messes with my mood (i am bipolar) also i cheated on my boyfriend who had a vasectomy which is why i never had an non hormonal iud placed in me.
anyway, i decided to put my child up for adoption. i know this may seem like a sudden idea but actually i've thought this over even before i became pregnant. when i had my daughter (the 2 year old) i almost brought here to the hospital at 3 months old i checked online and in ct they only except 1 month olds and under (if i remember correctly) i knew that plan wouldnt work anyways because i am married (separated now and he's excepting his 4th child with some women that doesnt care if he doesnt see our two) but at the time i was seriously depressed. which when i became pregnant again in march of 08 i decided to have an abortion which is the single most thing i regret in my life and why in june of 08 i tried to kill myself, and again in december 08 which was the time i was brought to the hospital when i told my visiting nurse.
that brings us to dcf getting involved in my life and why i no longer have my kids (my sister in law is caring for this while taking care of her 5! a truly amazing women) though i have been in and out of treatment this past year and hospitalized 3 times, i am trying to get them back because i love them and am thankful they are alive and know they will be with me soon. (hopefully before christmas)
all this leads up to now where i dont have a job, am getting evicted, have two red letters, and cant remember anything about the babydaddy other then he was black, and a repairman.
i know my family wouldnt be supportive of this pregnancy nor would they be supportive of me giving the baby up. so here is were my craziness comes in i am hoping to hide my pregnancy (even if that means brake up with my boyfriend) and find the baby a nice home. i've already contacted an adoption agency and am meeting with the social worker today. though i am super nervous i feel this is the right thing my only thoughts that this may not be right is how are all three of the kids (because i want an open adoption) going to feel about being separated from each other? i just worry that the 3rd child may scream in my face "you kept 2 and gave up me, why!?"
*deep breath* ok that was my intro, long and rambling! oh and my due date is june 10th 2010 heaven forbid i should leave anything out ;)
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zellzbella, when I choose adoption my husband and I had three kids total. Mine, his and ours! Then eight months after ours I was pregnant again. Two years after I found his awsome family and gave birth we had another baby and kept him. So trust me that question has rented space in my mind for eight years now. I dont dwell on it because in my heart I now I made the right decision and he is with his parents. He was thier baby from the beging and god choose me to carry him for them. That is how I see it maybe that will help you. You can feel free to email me to talk more.
I think it takes a big person to understand that they cannot give the baby enough. Love is no longer enough in this world that we live in. I wish it was...but Love won't pay the bills etc. Adoption is a great thing if you ask me, I placed my daughter about 14 years ago in an Open Adoption. It has been hard but I see her and made it work. I was a teen at the time. I didn't want to live off the system, so that was another reason why. The system didn't get me pregnant, so why should teh system pay for me and my baby. Still makes sense to me today. I am sure since you have plenty of time, you can find a loving family for the baby who will also maintain contact with you and the two children you wish to get back from DCF. I used to work for DCF so my advice, is if you really want adoption, find a family, get help through a good adoption person, and make a plan. DCF can and will step in to remove a baby from you if the other children are no longer with you. If you have an adoption plan in place and they can see you are doing what is best for you and the baby, they shouldn't be able to step in and ruin it. I wish you so much luck and I am sure you will get a ton of advice.