Everyday chores

My dd came home at 6 months so I was doing things like going to the grocery store within a couple of days. I took my showers after she went to sleep for at least 2 months (she had a 45 minute window after she fell asleep before she woke up screaming- I packed a lot in that 45 minutes,because she was too stressed to take naps, it was the only free time I had in the day). Eventually I used an exersaucer and then a pack and play in my bedroom right outside the bathroom. She's never been an easy going child, but was perfectly happy with that arrangement. She liked riding in the cart at stores so that worked for us, interacting with lots of people though, was very stressful for her, so I limited it to close family and short visits (and everyone understood that I was the only one to feed her, etc) She never appeared upset at the time, but her nights after visiting would be very hard. In terms of going out though, if you find it's hard on your child and you have someone willing to help, have them get the groceries, while you stay home. If they are an older toddler or preschooler stores could be tough...because they are for many kids that age. It's so great that you are thinking about all of this now! Best of luck. SusanSingle mommy to a wonderful 4.5 year old

thanks....I have a feeling I'll be matched with a toddler or preschooler and I'm trying to think how to do certain things at the beginning.....luckily I do have my parents that are less then a mile from my house and can help in certain areas....I just have this innate fear of doing something so insignificant (like taking a shower) and having a 4 year old figure out how to open doors and run off.....I keep getthing that nightmare....more so now that my cw has said that she is hopeful a match is around the corner. The attachment process is something I can't wait to do...even though that takes time....but considering my line of work, I'm used to seeing progress over several years so I'm expecting the same. Ironically it's the little things that I think of that are freaking me out.

I think adapting to an older child will be challenging. Not in a bad way, but because you don't yet know how they will respond to things and what they are used to. It's only been a year since I took locks off my kitchen cabinets and I still have them on the medicine cabinet and probably will till she can work the lock. I make sure the outside doors are locked in the house now that she can open them, because she hasn't yet learned how to unlock them, and while she's never opened them on her own, I think it's just one of those things I'm not willing to chance. 4 is still very little, and deceptively so, because they are so verbal and understand so much. A friend watched my daughter when she was 2 and took a shower while she was there. I was totally shocked. At that point my daughter had literally never been out of mine (or a caretaker's) site if she wasn't in fully child proofed room. She just wasn't ready for it yet. Fortunately all was well, and my friend understood my concern, but it scared me! I think your "little things" concern will be a big plus because you will err on the side of caution until you know what your child needs. Susanwho judging by all the little kids in parking lots who aren't holding hands with an adult, is maybe extra safety aware...but I'm sticking to it :)

IMHO, you have to test the waters...go to the grocery, but be prepared to bail with the cart 1/2 full if it gets too stressful for you or baby...shower when they are asleep, in the beginning. So much is trial and error, and seeing what works for the both of you. My child was placed as a newborn and I lots of stuff when he was sleeping, but he didn't like sleeping for too long when he was very little, so I learned to do things very quickly! I did laundry and light housework while wearing him in a sling (this helped alot with bonding and attachment). If you do get the 6 month old, the sling would be a good solution to getting things done around the house, and for grocery shopping. You could put her in an exer-saucer when you shower. Its a little tough in the beginning, but before you know it you settle into a routine that is comfortable for both of you! Good luck!

went gung ho!! and last week, after having had B for 2 1/2 years, he had a meltdown. I think it's the time of year. He tries leaving. I was chasing him in a parking lot. Now, he's really not as bad as he used to be. Just be prepared for anything! Millie

My daughter was 21 months when she came home. My mom lived next door but she is a busy woman so I could not rely on her to be available when I needed her to be. It helped that I had a tiny house. I showered, and worried. I shopped, and worried. But I figured she needed to get use to our normal life -- not get use to a transitional life then adjust to our normal life. It is a trial and error -- and sometimes it will feel like you are mostly on the error side of things.I used a sling (hip sling) to wear her. She was more then capable of walking but I did it for bonding and to keep her from running away from me. I tried a leash -- but she only wanted to walk herself. I let her be in the bathroom when I showered. I was consistent about my expectations.One thing I did not do but think is a great idea...fill your freezer with meals. You do not want to be cooking. Or have your friends, family, church, work, etc bring you meals for 1-2 weeks every night. Everything will feel harder for a while. My daughter also came home sick and was kind enough to share it all with me. I put her on meds and she got better. I, on the other hand, am allergic to most antibiotics so it took me a long time to recover. And lastly one of things that was suggested to me and really helped was to limit their stimulation. Do not have their room filled with toys, do not play music all the time, do not have the TV on all the time. I had about 6-8 toys available to her when she first came home and she played with those. She ignored the TV for about 6 months -- and now it is hard to drag her away from it. She loved music but we played the same CD over and over and over... Too much stimulation will just overwhelm them.Best of luck,Samantha