Hello single mom here

ah life is good, but learned a very valuable lesson..... After baby L was placed, it was very hectic....my parents came to help out, but then they fell ill with the flu so it was just me and her....then my water heater broke during the holidays and the part I needed was in the plumbing warehouse that was closed til the 4th for the holidays....so heating water in the microwave for baby's bath was no joy, neither was packing up nightly to my parents house (after they were well) to take showers and baths....finally the water heater was fixed and that was an annoying piece of time....i managed to skip meals and not drink and ended up in the hospital with dehyration and all out of whack electrolyte wise... so lesson learned: ALWAYS Make time to eat and drink even if you have to use a timer. Now I'm in the groove. Well thought I'd share my first bouts with single parenthood....don't know if this thread is dead or not, but reviving it.

Too Funny - you get your groove on sister

Dannie Oh no! Sorry you had such a hard time. Glad that you have good support around you though. One of the hardest things for me with my first was to realize that it does indeed take a village. I was used to being independent. Now whien someone offers help - I say yes. You have already figured out that you need to take care of you to be able to take care of L. Great lesson for early on. The next lesson I learned was to let go of my expectations for my home, etc. I really let stress build up trying to do it "all". Then I hired a cleaning lady and that helped tons. Then I just realized that if I was going to be a happy single mom doing the right things for my kids that the house would not be in great shape again until my kids are in college. And that is okay. I try to have the visible areas looking good. I try to remove the clutter regularly. The house is clean but tidy...not everywhere at the same time. And that is okay.

Oh, Dannie- you sure did have a rough go of it!! I remember not eating when my son was placed with me. Things happened so quickly, and my adrenaline was pumping so much, that I didn't think to eat. In fact, the same thing happened (for a few days) when new baby J came last week. But, I HAVE to eat- can't be getting sick with 2 babies to care for! I hope things go more smoothly for you now.

Oh my Goodness! Nothing like being baptized into single parenthood the hard way. If it makes you feel any better, we all start out that way. Well, maybe not with the fly, the broken water heater, and a stay in the hospital. But we all start out a frazzled and not eating or drinking as much as we should. Like the flight attendant tells you before take off, take care of Momma first then put the mask on the baby. Same concept. You can't take care of Baby L if you aren't feed and drinking liquids. Of course, you have already learned that vital lesson early on.

Congrats on baby J - very exciting.

Irelady, I concur with cynthia....congrats on baby J :)

Hello y'all! I'm Krisie. I've been silently reading these forums for nearly a year now and finally decided to join. While I've spent the last year or so researching and saving, I'm scared to death to make the leap to the next step which would be to contact agencies I've already decided on. Most of my family is on board with my decision to adopt, but only a small few are ok with me choosing to do so as a single parent. I had assumed that I would wait until some 'magical age' which I figured to be 35 to start the process, but something is telling me that I am ready to start this year. I'm 26 now. The timing feels so right to me and I look forward to sharing and learning from all of you!

Welcome Krisie123, we are a lovely bunch here. :-)

Hi everyone! I've only posted here once before. I'm still in the waiting phase. I found a great agency that usually matches fairly quickly. I know my profile has been shown but no matches yet. I looked into different types of adoption (international, foster care, domestic infant adoption) and ended up going with domestic infant adoption. I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever get chosen and if I do how long will it take. I realize it can take longer for a single woman to be matched but it's so hard to wait and not know if it will actually happen! I know many of you have been through the same emotions. It just seems like it's something out there in the future that's not going to become reality any time soon. Thanks for listening! Amy

Leeah, don't despair....honestly you will never know what goes through the minds of parents wanting to place, someone may just think you're the perfect home due to some weird reason. While I didn't pursue domestic infant adoption (I was placed with an infant anyways LOL) because my age range was birth-5 years old from the foster care system for adoption, that meant that any moms that had given birth in the hospital and then decided to place for adoption, those relinquishments went through the county. My cw has just told me that before Baby L, I was almost chosen by a relinquishing mom due to drumroll please........"my hairstyle....she just loved my hair and how I had it", but then she chose another family (it happened to be a two-parent family) because she read that they had yearly passes to disneyland every year....(I live in CA) and I was about to be presented to another relinquishing mom when I got the call about Baby L. So honestly, it's a mystery into what goes on in people's minds when they look at profiles. Don't give up, your baby will find you!

Hi Amy, You aren't alone out here. I am also waiting on my miracle. I was wondering how often you communicate with your agency? It's something I've been struggling with and a bit unsure on how to address it with them. I feel alone out here in this waiting process in regards to their support and wondered if others have experienced the same. It's a day by day thing for me, and I wake up daily and look forward to "the call". I know it's a reality that will happen in time. Take care, Cindy

Hello Amy and Cindy, First, let me welcome you aboard I have been here a while (not that I am addicted or anything ha ha). Please hang in there ladies it will happen for you. I am a single mom and was placed very quickly with a healthy infant. One of the reasons Bmom wanted me was because I was single..... go figure huh? The thing that you think will work against you its the very thing that willl be your "selling" point. Waiting is hard but there are things you can do to make it easier like taking classes on infant care at a local hospital, shopping for little stuff like a crib, car seat and etc. When you get the call things happen very quickly and the more ready you are the better. :grouphug: and more :grouphug: Its going to happen sooner than you think!!

Thanks Dannie and Sugarmuffin! The encouragement really does help. You both reinforced for me that we never know what might be a factor in a birthmother's decision. This is something my agency has said, too. Dannie (I'm also a speech/language therapist by the way :)), I started to go through the foster care system here in Maryland where I live. I was promptly told that children 0-5 (my age range, too) were rarely available for adoption. The goal of the county is always to reunite them with their birth families. If I wanted to provide temporary foster care or adopt a teenager then they would talk to me. Cindy, My agency works a little differently than some. They send out situations by e-mail (to all their clients) and if you want to be considered you let them know. I've kept in contact with my caseworker this way (letting her know when I've asked for my profile to be seen by a particular birthmother). Most agencies welcome your questions and will be open to being in close contact with you throughout the process. There's still the feeling of daily waiting for the call but it helps that I can be more proactive and really see what situations are coming up. Thank you again. I do know that my baby will find me! and Cindy yours will too! Amy

Just ran across this thread! I'm a single, middle aged, first time mom of a smart, funny, energetic 3 year old. And life is good. :)