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i gave my daughter up for adoption at birth when i was 16 back in 1995. i chose a semi-open adoption. i met the adoptive parents once and actually got to hand my baby to them. they were the nicest people, wrote me tons of letters with lots of details, her favorite foods and colors, her hobbys and school. and they also sent me so many pictures. this went on for about 10 years. i have no last names for this couple, wasn't given any identifying info, all our contact was by mail through the adoption agency. sadly, my daughter passed away from cancer in 2006. they wrote me a very kind but sad letter, and gave me a few last pictures. i could tell how devastated these parents were, as was i. my problem is they never told me where my daughters remains are. is she buried somewhere i could visit? was she cremated? i wrote to them and i have never gotten any response. i have yet to find some kind of closure regarding the death of my daughter who i had always fully believed i would be reunited with. this year in february she would've turned 16. does anybody have any ideas how i could possibly find out where she is? will i ever have a right to know? i'm still searching all the time for an obituary, or anything at all. i understand the adoptive parents were probably so completely upset they maybe just wanted to end it. but i need some closure too. even with all the letters and pictures so often, they never did tell me she was sick with cancer, until i got a call from the agency telling me she was dead. i will never forget that phone call, and the most excruciating emotional pain i have ever felt. any ideas are greatly appreciated. thank you. (i also want to say that i have no bad feelings toward the adoptive family. i love them as my own family and i'm so greatful for them)
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gisellechloe
I am so sorry for your loss. Could you perhaps ask the agency to intervene and get the information for you? I cant imagine all the pain you must be going thru. I'm sorry I'm not more help. Hugs
I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know how you could find out about where your daughter was buried (assuming she was buried - it is also possible her aparents had her cremated and have her remains with them). Regardless, I believe you do need to know what happened to her, and I hope you will get this information. Without identifying information of the aparents, you could try the agency again, maybe try writing another letter that they could forward to the aparents. While I understand their grief, you're grieving, too (a double loss), and I hope they can find it in their hearts to share the details of where your daughter was laid to rest. Again, my deepest condolences. I will pray you get the closure you need.