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I am unmarried but in a committed relationship with the father of one of my children. We live apart. I was awarded residential custody but we share joint custody.
I have two children. My oldest is 9 and the youngest is 5. The father of the youngest has been in my oldest life since she was 3 years old. He is her father and has been since the beginning. He wants legal rights.
My oldest does not know her BF AT ALL by design. I know nothing about the man, and cannot verify that I was not date raped. When I became pregnant he denied responsibilities and told me to terminate the pregnancy. He never gave me his real name, and changed his number before I had the kid.
OH well.. his loss. Currently I am sole custodian. Unfortunately, I have been court ordered by SS to complete a paternity test with him. I have avoided involving him in our life as much as possible. If it comes back positive the birth certificate will be amended and his name added :(
I do not want him to have any rights to this child because she is nearly 10 years old, never even heard of him, and is practically a complete stranger.
I am terrified of him receiving any types of rights, and have been discussing having my sons father adopt my oldest. My children are not raised as half siblings.. and they feel they share the same mommy and daddy. I feel my daughter should be aware of him as an adult.. but if something were to happen to me she should be with her father and little brother. Not some random date raper.
My question is..
1. would my youngest dad's father be able to adopt her without us being married?
2. How would we do this when there a 4 different states involved? :airplane: (birth certificate, child's residency, bf residency, adoptive father residency)
3. DO I need to wait for the results of the paternity test before I proceed?
3. Who do I contact to start the process?