Open Adoption

November 29, 2009

I was adopted practically before I was born. My birth mother and grandparents met with my now adoptive parents and immediately hit it off. They decided to have an open adoption and I have been very close to my birth mothers family my whole life. I consider her parents my grandparents. She had two boys after me once she got married and I have always considered them to be my brothers. Although I don't live with them, they will always be part of my family. Some may be wondering where my birth father fits into this. Him and my birth mother were young and not married when she found out she was pregnant with me. He was in college and a couple years older than her, so he felt like it would be a burden since he was starting his career. He left my birth mother and only told his mother and father about me. No one else in his family knew about me. He didn't want anything to do with me and he told his mom not to contact me. I barely know anything about him. Only his name and that his family is Italian. Him and his parents were both born in the U.S. though. We send his parents a christmas card every year, so I assume they receive them. I am now 17 and want to contact my birth father. But I am scared that he will reject meeting me. I don't really know what to do. If anyone has some advice for me please let me know!

portlowski

December 1, 2009

Hi and welcome to the forums,

You might get some more responses if you post in the adoptee section.

I am an adoptive mom in an open adoption and our situation sounds a lot like yours even though our son is only 3 years old. He is very close to his birth mom but his birth father is not in the picture. I know he loves his son very much but sometimes men have a hard time dealing with emotional isues and they choose to bury them. I think it is easier for them to block out the feelings because they did not carry the baby the way the birth mom did.

I am sorry that I don't have an advice on how to preoceed right now. At 17, you probably have a lot going on in your life. From reading these forums I know that reunion can be difficult and bring up a lot of emotions soi t is good to be in a stable place in your life and have a support system if your choose to look for your birth father.

Best of luck to you.