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:moped: [FONT="Comic Sans MS"][/FONT] Hi i am new to looking for my birth mom. The only problem that i have is that i have no info. it was 28 years ago in tacoma washington and she was 16 years old it was 5-18-1981. she only had me for about 2 mounths. that all i have to work with. i have been thinking about finding her off and on all my life. i don't want to ruin her life at all. she gave me more than she will ever now. i just want to thank her. is it rong of me to want to find her? is it something that might ruin her life? what if she dosen't want to see me. what do i do then what if she knows who my birth dad is and he dosent even no that i am a live? should i just not want to find her? i have sooo many filling about all of this and i don't know what to do could some one help me with all of this. i just fill lost with all of this. thank you
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Welcome Katy,
You might want to cross post this on the adult adopt forum and the Birthmom's as well as search and reunion. You can also register here as an adult adoptee on the searching list You will get lots of support from the birthmoms here and reassurance that they thought about and loved their children every day. Read up on old threads to about some of the reunion stries. Most folks would agree that finding a therapist or support group is a good thing to t as you begin your journey.
Good luck to you
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check out your state adoption records. i found out that in 2000 my state (alabama) made a new law where adopted children may pay $20 fill out a form and receive their original birth certificate. i downloaded the form off the internet, sent in a check for $20.00 and received mine within 4 weeks or less. it had my name that she gave me and her name. it did not have his name. her name was so unique that i had one of my cop buddies look her up and i found out what city she lived in. i called information and found her number and called her. i would love to tell you all my questions were answered and things are great but please be warned before trying any further it doesnt usually turn out all tears and hugs like tv shows. she told me she was 15 and raped and forced to give me up for adoption. she has a daughter and a son now and she has no intentions on telling them about me at all. i have been speaking to her off and on through email for 5 years + now and met her once. she will never tell her other children about me and that hurts, its like neglecting me all over again. anyway enough about me, just please think of all the things you will go through before you continue because nothing can really prepare you for this.
good luck in whatever you choose to do!
I think you have to do what you feel is good for you. You never know how the birth mom will react but, if you want to find her just prepare yourself for whatever way it goes. I don't think for myself being a birth mom of a son I gave up when I was 15 that I would feel if my child came to find me that would ruin my life. On the contrary, I think it's only fair for the children to look for the birth parents. I would not look up my son because his adoptive parents may not have told him about me or he is not interested in pursuing and kind of information. He may just not want to deal with it at all. I know I made the right decision and always hope he had a great life with mature responsible and loving people.
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