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I just turned 18 on the first of this month. I became pregnant last april. I have started up a blog in hopes of helping and supporting other birth moms and teens out there to see what I was going through, and also to maybe get some support from them as well. All I have been getting is negative feedback about how wrong I am in deciding for adoption. I honestly thing adoption is one of the best gifts that somebody can give their child.
for more information and to read more on my story/adoption: [url=http://www.ashleydsalazar.com]the life of ashley salazar[/url]
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Hi Ashley and welcome!!!
My Mom gave me up for adoption, but it didn't seem like a gift for me. I think my parents may have thought I was pretty awesome though. I know it was a huge sacrifice for my firstmom and she has never recovered actually. We just spoke on the phone the other day and have a good relationship though.
It must be hard for you with the hormones all over the place too. I was married and had my baby in ideal circumstances but my hormones still had me whacked out!! I am sorry you are living without your sweet baby girl, but am glad you are talking about it and hearing all sides.
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I am sorry you are getting negative feedback for your decision to go with adoption for your child. I can tell you from personal experience, most people do not understand it if they haven't lived it. I had some people show support for my decision (this was back in the 80s), but by and large, most people have been either dismissive or have come right out and said really rude or judgemental things (i.e. "I could NEVER do that!" or "how could you reject your own CHILD!??!"). I don't consider my decision to place my son a rejection of him at all, and as hard as it was, I still felt good about my decision, but overall, people don't see it that way. I wish this could change, but I don't see it happening even after all these years! I would say don't let other people's comments bring you down, but sometimes the judgements do get to you. It is important to try to find some support elsewhere, among those who understand, to balance the negativity out. And if YOU feel good about your choice, that is what really matters anyway.
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[FONT="Arial Black"]Sorry to hear that some people are not making it easy. Just remember that the decision you are making is being done for your child to have what you think is best. I have always wanted to have children but ended up getting pregnant at what is the wrong time in my life. The birth father is not someone that would (in my opinion) make the best parent or that he is ready to be a parent. Also I am early in my career and do not have the funds to raise a child but the family that I selected share my views and will be able to give my and now their son all the things that I would not be able to do on my own.
Whatever you decide it is not going to be easy but just remember the precious gift that you are sharing with a family.
Best wishes.
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Hey Ashley! I'm Janey.
I relinquished my daughter and my son when I was in my teens and, even though it was many years ago, I still vividly recall the attitudes of people towards me.
So I know how hurtful and cruel people can be in their judgements of those like us, even when we were doing what we thought was best for our children.
Hang in there okay and hold your head up!! Hope you can take some small comfort in the fact that you're not alone and that other women have been where you're at.
((((( Ashley )))))
Wishing you much peace today!:wings:
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ashleysalazar
I just turned 18 on the first of this month. I became pregnant last april. I have started up a blog in hopes of helping and supporting other birth moms and teens out there to see what I was going through, and also to maybe get some support from them as well. All I have been getting is negative feedback about how wrong I am in deciding for adoption. I honestly thing adoption is one of the best gifts that somebody can give their child.
for more information and to read more on my story/adoption: [url=http://www.ashleydsalazar.com]the life of ashley salazar[/url]
I am so sorry that people are giving you 'negative' responses. I, personally, think the choice you made is full of love and brave.
I was adopted 46 years ago, a closed adoption. However, my adopted mom always always made sure that I knew how much my birth mom must of loved me to make sure that my needs came before hers. It's the ultimate sacrifice. If anyone EVER was to say to me that my adopted mom couldn't love me as much as my birth mom...I would let them know quickly how wrong they are. I live and breath for my adoptive mother...recently I found my birth family and it was a VERY incredible wonderful experience...they had been looking for me forever. My adoptive mom is very much involved in the reunion...I wouldn't have it any other way.
I can only imagine, after having children of my own, how difficult a decision it was to give your child up for adoption. The plus side is, that you know who has her, and are able to be a part of her life. Lucky lucky both of you!
I know as well as anyone else all about adoption...the ups and downs, the wondering, the feeling like you don't belong at some level. 46 years of it. But having a healthy relationship with my adopted mother made it so much easier. I could only imagine what it would've been like to know my birth mom as well. I feel your daughter is very loved and lucky to have the family she does. You made probably the most difficult decision a woman could ever make...a selfless act....an act of incredible love!
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