Are we sinning by accepting an adoption subsidy?

We live in a democracy, the state is "we." The state is all of us, in social compact together. Within that compact, we have agreed to provide something (clearly not all needed) for children who cannot be raised by their birth parents. We have agreed to set aside money for these children to help them to be fostered and adopted by those who can raise them as well as to help them heal from the suffering they have endured as a failure of their family and our society to protect them sooner. The money is meant for the children, it is disbursed by all of us in agreement with each for their benefit; all of us together have entitled the children to this support; it belongs to them. To not accept foster or adoption subsidy to which a child is entitled and which is intended for a child's benefit to better their lives is to steal from the child. Surely that would be the real sin. As for her reading of Timothy, it is simple to see that the passage does not say how one should provide for one's family members. I would think that refusing the provision to which a family member is entitled would be contrary to the instruction. To clarify, however, I am not Christian, but saw your post on the forum roundup and was interested in it.

Using Scripture to under mind a person, especial one who is attempting to do good is not a proper use of Scripture. If this sister believes that the care for the children of the household should be provided for by the family, and she doesn't believe in accepting subsides, then is she stepping up and offering to help support them? If anyone could be to be "sinning" in this situation it is the biological family, for whatever reason, is unable to care for all these precious children that you are wanting to adopt. (And as I'm sure most of us are aware, caring for their children is not even a possibility for many, otherwise there would not be so many who are in desperate need of homes. It is to the benefit of the child to not be in the home that cannot care for them). As has been pointed out, 1 Timothy does not say HOW this care is to be provided. If one accepts what help is available, why not. It's not really different than accepting free parenting classes or group support, it is all for the benefit for the child(ren). If someone was going to throw Scripture at me in this matter, I'd have to refer them to James 1:27 - Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." There are a lot of other Scriptures that tell us to care for those who are unable to care for themselves. I'm just beginning the process, to be a first-time Mom through adoption, and as a Christian (and a Minister) I am sure that this is what God is leading me to do, and if the government is going to help, (tax credit, subsidies, reimbursements) I am willing to accept.

Snubbing one's sister for adopting foster children and using a subsidy is a ridiculous sin, actually using God's word to justify it is reprehensible.

Thank you for your support. My feelings and understanding of scripture are the same as yours. So how would you handle this situation? I love this sister and very much want her in my life (she is my twin sister). I hurt to see her so deceived on her scriptural beliefs. She is in a church that is very cultish; I know because our family was involved in the church for a number of years also, and fortunately our eyes were opened, and God is healing us from it. At this point, she won't discuss the issue with us. I've tried to point out the whole of scripture, what she is ignoring to support her stand. But she states that we are not standing true to the Bible, and basically, she is more sure of the fact that she is correct because we are "persecuting" her for her beliefs. Again, these are beliefs taught in her church. She says she can't offer any support or encouragement, or that would be going against her beliefs. BUT, when the kids are home, she will love them and forgive us "our sins." She is also mad at us that we aren't keeping her informed on things with the kids, and that we won't ask her to be involved with homecoming celebrations, etc. What do you do? How do I act like the Christian here? Please pray for intercession here. It is so far beyond what I can humanly do... Thanks for listening and your support! This adoption has been a tough journey, absolutely guided by God, but no support from my family. It's been a hard road... (but soooo worth it!)

I have read this thread and the other thread...the only thing I can tell you is that she needs to be told that if you are 'sinning' she has no authority to 'forgive' you, that right is reserved for the one on high who is also the only one who is allowed to 'judge' because only he knows what is in your heart. Kind regards,Dickons

Don't know if this is pertinat to you, but I am speaking as a non-practicing Lutheran... I don't believe you will be able to get her to see your view. This is something she will need to come to on her own. One could point out many cases where "charity" was given, for instance, I recall a certain time when bread and wine was given to those that were in need in the Bible. The church itself gives to those that need (Catholic Charities for instance), would it not be wrong of them to do this then, because they would be promoting people becoming unbelievers? Truthfully, I believe the best you can do is tell her you will turn the other cheek to her condemning your actions and ask her to celebrate the arrival of your new family members.

When we've encountered points of contention within the family (we are all Christians) we always pray, and usually discuss the point. If agreement can't be reached we move on, each with our own convictions. This does cause tension, but we still get together and have the kids play or go over for Grandma's birthday, or whatever family gathering is going on. We still maintain our family relationships even when we disagree. Not always an easy thing, but well worth it as with time we usually can work doctrinal differences out or agree to let them be. Sometimes the differences remain, other times we come to agree on the very points that previously polarized us. You can't argue (debate) other people into changing their minds. Actions always speak louder than words. If you love her as you love yourself she will see that you've not turned your back on God and are seeking to please Him.

Hi, thanks for writing and this forum is focused on adoptees but will answer your question as I see it. I am an adoptee. I believe that scripture verse is focused on parents negating their responsibility to provide for the children they have chosen to raise- in regards to work-employment. It's a "heart" attitude here that is targeted I believe- meaning parents that don't want to work or are lazy, and irresponsible- that would not apply to persons who are striving everyday- busy looking for jobs and applying but not getting an open door. Adoptions are very costly these days and it is in God's heart that orphaned children be adopted. He commands us, exhorts us in scripture to take care of orphans & widows. To some that means just reaching out with gifts of moneys to orphans, to others it may mean adopting. He also calls us to support our brothers or sisters in the faith. Your sister may have her own drawbacks to sharing support money- maybe personal as I do not know her motives for her opposition. But she obviously is not feeling the nudge to support you. Shake the dust off. Do not let it discourage you from your goal if you feel God is nudging you in the area of adoption. You do not have to have your sister's approval and you can just graciously share with her that you feel differently and understand that scripture differently. Blessings to you in your continued adoption journey! Jody

You go girl. You are absolutely correct.

Your post really hit a nerve with me as I work at a very large, very Bible based church and to see anyone try to beat you over the head with Scripture is just wrong, even if she is your sister. I agree with the James Scripture that we are to care for orphans. My own daughter is a foster mom and in the process of adopting and I support her wholeheartedly. My best advice is to pray daily for your sister. Only God can open her eyes and change her heart. Many blessings to you for taking care of one of God's children!

UGGHH legalism has no place in this! God is providing with that subsidy!!! It would be sinful to turn your back on what God is providing.

I wonder what she would have to say to the 10,000 that accepted loaves and fish from Jesus? Boy that was big sin! And Jesus encouraged all that sin by providing the food for them to take. Good grief! I'm so sorry you're in this spot. Claiming that accepting assistance is sin because you aren't providing for your family is so ridiculous when you consider how many time Jesus commanded we give and help those in need. I suggest you just don't tell her what your kids qualify for, like PP said, it's their money not yours anyway. Shame on her for trying to persuade you to take money away from orphans, that's just sick :)

I have to tell each one of you how much your support has meant to me in our journey. Maybe because you each agree with me. ;) ha-ha! An update on our situation; I originally posted in January 2010. Here we are in September and MY KIDDOS ARE HOME!!! Praising God for that! We were matched with them in Nov./Dec. 2009. The kids have been home since July 2010 and are really settling in well. My sister, and family in general, have not come around. My twin sister, who I originally posted about, has only come to see the kids once, is now to the point that she doesn't answer/return my phone calls, e-mails, and won't even post my comments on her blog. Pretty petty, but Christian according to their beliefs. Please pray for her and her family. They are involved in a very cultish church that has a tight grip on them. It breaks my heart, but what else do you do but trust in God? I thank you for your continued support. This post seems to strike people as it keeps coming back to the top. I pray God's blessings of peace and contentment in YOUR lives. Traci If you want to see my beautiful kiddos (all 6 of them) and our crazy life, send me a private message with your e-mail address and I'll send you an invite to my blog. :)

I'm so glad to hear that your kids are all home. I'll keep your sister in my prayers, as it is not our job as humans to judge. That is up to God. Whether or not your sister agrees with your choice to adopt these children and accept the subsidy, God is all about relationships. I'm sure He is grieving the loss of her relationship with you. I will pray that she comes to realize that you don't have to agree with someone to love them and be part of their life. (((Hugs)))

I would tell her that it is not her duty to judge you. I would tell her what you told us, that you love her very much and don't want to hurt her feelings. Tell her you will pray about it, and if God tells you in more ways than one that you should not accept the money that you will obey God and him only.