new and looking for info

Please know that even in open adoption, you will give up all rights to have any say in your child's life EVEN if the adopting couples put an open adoption agreement in writing - they can break their promises at any time and the Law will NOT back you up by making them stick to the agreement. Once your parental rights are terminated, the odds are stacked against you and you will not likley be able to change your mind. Be very cautious about what you sign or get yourself into - I wish I had!! Be careful about trusting people who will not even tell you their entire name!! best, fc

ps - I found this on the web: THINK YOUR ADOPTION CAN’T CLOSE?? THINK YOU CAN TRUST EVERYONE WHO TELLS YOU YOU’LL ALWAYS KNOW YOUR BABY??? WELL, READ BELOW. THINGS ARE OBVIOUSLY GOING TO CHANGE FOR THIS BIRTH-MOM!!!Below is a internet post by a woman who adopted another’s child and is now obviously calling all the shots - controlling any chance the birth-mom will have - or not have - with the baby she birthed into the world. Just read the blog below that the adoptive woman posted on the internet for the truth!!! "Hi everyone. Just thought I'd give you all an update on our situation. I am the one who posted THIS and THIS and THIS.Well, after my husband and I discussed it quite a bit today, we've decided that we are going to close our adoption until Keeley decides she wants to persue getting to know her birth-mom.We've had so many problems with the B-Mom's mom and we sent the B-Mom an e-mail saying that we will stick to the five visits, but her parents could only attend two of them or we could cut the visits down to three with her parents being able to attend all. That was on January 2nd. Today we received a reply from B-Mom's fiance.Highlights on some of the things he said (not quoting) ~ He said I was immature for my age in regards to how I handle the visits.~ He said that the only reason I gave B-Mom the choice of either five visits a year (2 w/B-Grandparents) or three visits a year (all w/B-Grandparents) is because I'm hoping that the B-Mom will choose the three visits basically so I don't have to see her as often.~ He says that I'm trying to get the B-Grandparents out of the picture because I can't manipulate them like I can the B-Mom. He says I want the B-Grandparents out so I can then kick B-Mom out of DD's life.~ He said that me saying the environment had to be light-hearted at all visits because DD was old enough to pick up on what's going on (she's 23 months) was me using DD as a scapegoat. He told me how low I was for using a baby as an excuse to get what I want.~ He also said that I have spite toward DD's B-Mom and that when DD does know what's going on, it won't be good for me or anyone else involved.~ He told me that B-Mom regretted adopting out DD and said that he wishes he was the B-Dad so that I wouldn't have DD.~ I put the visits on hold at the beginning of November and said somewhere at some point in the chaos and drama that was going on that our lives would be so much simpler if we never adopted DD. He threw that back in my face and said that I need to bring DD back to where she belongs. ~ He said that I can't handle it and usually mothers that are like that will abuse, neglect, or kill their child.~ He told me that I only think of myself and hopes one day that I can find it in my heart to set aside my selfishness and think of someone other than myself.~ He was also kind enough to remind me that if it weren't for B-Mom, I wouldn't have DD.Wow. Yep. That's it. We have been dealing with so much and putting up with so much from the B-Grandma and now here comes the fiance into the picture starting stuff. One might ask why we are "punishing" the B-Mom for stuff her mom and fiance do. First, we aren't punishing her at all, so are doing what is best for our family. The best thing for us is to remove ourselves completely from the situation. Obviously the B-Mom doesn't speak for herself and has other people speak for her...and when she allows them to say things like this, it's unacceptable.Thank you all for the support you have provided through all of this!!Lynn