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I am 55 years old . I found my birth family 13 years ago . I never knew I was adopted . I found out when was 39 while going through my mother's papers before she passed away ( Adoptive Mother ). I found my birth family months later . I have 5 brothers & sisters . We all have the same mother & father . Here's my question for discussion .
I have been close to my sister from the first meeting . We were both married and nothing romantic happened . We are both divorced or separated now . She is 48 years old . In talking to her today I told her it would be very easy to be " in love " with her . She said the same thing about me . I am reading about " GSA " . Genetic Sexual Attraction . Some say it is a normal feeling as we didn't grow up together and some say it is just plain wrong , but with nothing to support their statement .. Any input would be very helpful .. [/FONT]
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People are attracted to other people who have similar interest, similar personalities – etc, so it would stand to reason that you would be attracted to someone who might be so much like yourself. However, she is still your sister (even though, legally speaking, she isn't) - and so by that virtue alone, society shuns such relationships.What are you looking for specifically? Are you wanting some supporting statements for the ‘just plain wrong’ camp?If that’s the case – most all states have some sort of laws regarding ‘incest’ which is basically what it is when two people who are close blood-relatives have a relationship that is outside the bounds of their familial relationship.You might read this, posted by the Harvard Law Review: [url]http://www.harvardlawreview.org/issues/119/june06/note/inbred_obscurity.pdf[/url]In looking at the laws for the State of Florida (which is where your profile says your from) the law is specific in what it considers incest – what it is not specific about is ‘legal relationship status’ – you are a ‘legal stranger’ to your sister – by virtue of adoption – but still a blood relative, by virtue of lineage. The law reads as follows (including citation) 826.04 Incest.--Whoever knowingly marries or has sexual intercourse with a person to whom he or she is related by lineal consanguinity, or a brother, sister, uncle, aunt, nephew, or niece, commits incest, which constitutes a felony of the third degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082, s. 775.083, or s. 775.084. "Sexual intercourse" is the penetration of the female sex organ by the male sex organ, however slight; emission of semen is not required.How you interpret that is up to you and your attorney. I would say that, in the case of sealed records, how would one know they were involved in an incestuous relationship – because legally, you have no documentation that states the blood relationship?It’s a catch-22 that, at best would require a good legal interpretation from a qualified attorney who is knowledgeable in matters related to incest law while in tandem having an understanding of how adoption law works in the state in question.
TJK, did you say one of you is now divorced, and one of you is seperated?
Divorce and seperation are very vulnerable times in a persons life. Emotions run very high. Add to that emotions of reunion, and I would encourage you to be very careful. At this particular time, it would be very easy to confuse emotions and do something you might regret later. I would encourage you guys to get some counceling to help in dealing with all the feelings of divorce, seperation, and your reunion. They are all big deals that can send you , emotionally, to places you didn't know you could go, and wouldn't were the situation different.
I can't tell you about GSA. I haven't experienced it. I have gone through divorce, seperation, reunion, and numerous other tramatic events. I know how difficult, and confusing, those times can be. I'm not sure if this was what you were looking for, but hope it helps some.
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Hi tjkimball,I've read that Genetic Sexual Attraction [url=http://www.adopting.org/adoptions/genetic-sexual-attraction-reunion-after-adoption-search.html]Genetic Sexual Attraction - Reunion After Adoption Search -[/url] does happen among some reuniting b-family members. It happened to me regarding my b-brother when I first met him - very weird, bizarre feeling. I would agree with advice to not act upon your GSA feelings 'tho (I'm glad I didn't) as it can really complicate a lot of things. However, my recommendation is first to read up more on GSA and then decide what risks you're willing to take. Reunion is so filled with all kinds of unknown risks and I think therefore it's best to make informed decisions as best we can in all this emotional turmoil.
I know awhile back there was a special on closely related relationships, however most of them knew all their life they were related versus meeting as adults. I agree with others to take into consideration the vulnerable position you are in and I would recommend considering a counselor to serve as a 3rd party to help you sort out where your feelings are coming from and if it could be a healthy relationship for the two of you. Personally I can see how this would happen and unless the two of you plan on having a child together I don't think it would be that weird.
I have a friend who's mother reunited with her birth son when he was 31. The son came to live with the family and the mom and son spent a lot of time together but the husband didn't think much of it because they were getting to know each other. A few months later the son and mother run off together. My friend goes looking for her mom and finds out that they had been passing themselves off as boyfriend and girlfriend (really son and mother) and that her mother was pregnant with brother's child. Now that was a weird one. In their defense both did suffer from bi-polar and the pregnancy did end up miscarrying. I don't think your circumstances are anywhere near this one.
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