Need advice on foster to adopt

Just ONE more thing. Our first 5 fosters were in IL. We have found that LA TPRs much more and much faster then IL. Therefore, children are freed for adoption at much younger ages. La really tends to stick with the 12 month time line for RU. They take permanency seriously. (At least that is our experience here in our region)

Thank you so much for answering so quickly. This process is very confusing and we understand there are no certainties with Fostering to Adopt. My husband and I will open our home to fostering and have open minds about it, we just don't want to get caught up in a cycle where we are a long-term temporary home for the State. It sounds selfish, but we love children and both get very attached very easily which is why we would like something permanent. We will complete our state homestudy but will continue to explore private adoptions but the only concern with private is the fact that my husband will be 46 in May and the cut off age for most private agencies is 45. Anyone ever heard of granting a waiver to age requirements? Thanks again.

I was licensed for 3 days, got my 1st "foster" placement, a 5 month old baby girl, and she never left...we finalized our adoption last Oct., she is now 3, so it takes a while! Since then, we have fostered many children that have went home but 4 months ago, we picked a newborn up from the hospital for a foster placement and his bio mom is ready to relinquish. The grandmother was going to take him but I established a good relationship w/ her and informed her of "grandparent rights" and now she has agreed to let us adopt him as long as she can continue to be a grandma. I think fostering is the best way to adopt a baby...it is hard and you have to keep things in perspective. After all relatives, you are the first one in line to adopt the baby if the parents cannot make it.

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I'm in CA and we just were placed with a 4 day old and all signs point to him being eligible for adoption, nothing is ever really certain, but this a very open & shut case. I was told by his social worker through the county & my foster agency that if and when he is eligible for adoption, we would get first priority & have always been told that (been doing this 3 years). However, just had a conversation with state adoptions & they were not very nice, & they also told me that there are people who have already been approved who are on a long list, waiting for an infant, and they would have priorty over us. My agency said not to worry about it, but I am, especially since I've been waiting for three years to fost-adopt and didn't know that a "list" existed for already approved adoptive homes. Any ideas on if the foster parent has first "dibs" so to speak?

In NV, the procedure is that after relatives, foster parents have 1st "dibs" on baby once the baby is considered "foster" or is a "special needs" child ( parent has history of drug, abuse or mental illness), However, If the baby is reliquished at the hospital and is considered "healthy infant", there is a list of people like you say and you may be able to trump those people but fees may apply (in my case it would be $8000). CA is screwed up though, no offense! Trust me, I know the anxiety you are feeling...I just went thru it w/ our little guy.

No offence taken Jennt! It definitely has its problems! He was considered "foster" and most likely will be considered "special" needs" since althoug he wasn't born tox positive, his mom has a LONG history with drug use and admitted to using while pregant. How would I be able to find out what those fees are, or what actions to take to "trump" them?

I remember in foster care training, one woman said (a foster-mom that was also a trainer) taht if you are ever interested in adopting a child that you are fostering, regardless of the current reunification plans, tell anyone that will listen. That is what I did when I can=me into your situation 5 months ago w/ a 4 day old newborn and we are going to TPR hearing the end of march and we are now the concurrent home for him. So, my advise to you...I would let every person you know (in all of the agencies you are working with) including your licensing worker, the case worker, the child advocate etc. that you are interested in being a concurrent family for this child. Don't worry about bothering them..it is better that you are in the front of thier minds even if it is as a pain in the ***. lol. I would also attend all court hearings, so make sure you ask when they are, there should be one w/ in a week of his birth, this way the judge can hear from you personally. As far as the adoption fees, they probably don't apply for a child that is considered special needs, in fact, you should receive Federal funds (Title IV E) once he is adopted. I think the fact that you have hime and are forming a bond w/ him, and that you are waiting to adopt, is a good start w/ the "trump". Ask to speak w/ an adoption worker if the case worker cannot tell you about the waiting list. It is really hard to give you an direction or advice considering I am only familiar w/ NV. But good luck and if you wnat to talk...I am here!

Thank you!!!

Sorry to hear that Southernbelle1. I'm thinking you may need to be more assertive with the state. Have you identified a child you're interested in? You can find listings of children available for adoption in Louisiana from the state site or adoption Photolisting Children In Foster Care Awaiting Adoption.Good luck.

Heres an update on our situation. We were extremely hesitant about fostering to adopt but decided to give it a try. We were officially certified in April 2010 and didnҒt receive a single call until August 2010. The first couple of calls were for sibling groups that were too large for our living space but the 3rd call almost didnt happen. Apparently OCFS (Office of Children and Family Services) had problem accurately dialing the numerous telephone numbers my husband and I gave them to contact us. :( By chance, when they called a 2nd time, it was to inform us that there was a beautiful 8 week old baby girl still in the hospital in need of foster care. We immediately accepted!! Our baby is ғspecial needs in that her birth mom is a habitual drug user battling depression and has many children already (14) and doesnԒt have any of them in her custody. While our baby was still in the hospital the birthmom tried to get a cousin certified by OCFS to take her but her certification fell through. The birthmom hasnt had any visits with the baby since weҒve had her and cant be found by OCFS. The birth father is unknown. WeҒve had her for 7 months so far and OCFS is currently attempting to locate any other family members that might be able to take her but so far theres only been one relative that made it painfully obvious that she is only interested in taking her if she can get paid monthly to do so (we are talking about real winners here). At our last hearing, the judge (who really seems to like us) scheduled another review hearing for the beginning of April and if this relative doesnҒt officially come forward they will move forward to terminate parental rights and we will unofficiallyӔ be able to move forward to keep her. :happydance: Since OCFS hasnt heard from this relative in 4 weeks, we donҒt feel that she will come forward at the hearing but we will just have to wait and see. We are praying for the best because after having this baby for 7 months, she identifies us as her caregivers/parents and it would be a shame to uproot her at this point. We love her and hope to be able to keep her. So far this has been a hard and challenging experience but we dont regret a second of it because we took a baby born at 2 pounds 9 ounces and cared for her so that she now weighs almost 17 pounds and is happy and healthy. :banana: Even with all of our experiences so far, if we get to keep our baby we wouldn't have a problem opening our home for another child. Pray for us. I will update soon.

What happened with this? Were you able to keep the baby?

Here's another update. We are still in a holding pattern waiting to have the TPR paperwork signed. The birth mom isn't sure she wants to sign, but at this point our baby has been in our care for almost 12 months and there's been no interaction from birthmom with baby or any other relatives. If she doesn't sign, we will have to go to court to pray the judge signs off of the TPR paperwork and if he does, then it will be final. So I guess this is an update but not really since we still don't have an official decision, but our baby is a happy healthy toddler that gets into everything. lol She's almost 25 pounds and is absolutely wonderful. We love every minute we spend with her and would do it all over again.Hopefully I will be able to write again with better news. Pray for us.

How is it going with the TPR? Any success?

:grr: Help, I'm new on here and am hoping to get some advice. We live in NJ and after a long failed fertility battle decided to adopt. We are with a private agency as well as DYFS. On Wed. We were placed with a beautiful baby boy right from the hospital he is 6 days old and healthy. He was taken from his mother for mental and past criminal reasons and she lost custody and rights to a 3 year old son as well. ( who is being adopted by a family just 2 towns away from me) we instantly fell in love with this little angel. A day after we had him the birth mother complained to the judge that she could not travel to see her son due to geographical reasons. ( she lives in another county ) the judge ordered the baby to be removed from my home and relocated him to a home in her county. We have offered to drive the baby to her county on visit days but so far no luck with the judge overturning her order. I am so sick over this and feel someone messed up in the DYFS system. anyone have a similar situation? :hissy: