RAD and food, fake hurts?

I will start with the second child first as I dont have much experience with food issues (although I would say dont veto the therapist idea without trying it for a couple weeks - if it doesnt work, it doesnt work) It sounds to me like your daughter is seeking a connection with you throughout the day in a somewhat unhealthy way. We did go through this. What we did is put a picture of us and a small note in the front of every binder so that there was a constant reminder of mom and dad's love throughout the school day. Then, the same in her lunch kit. I think your daughter needs to connect with you when she is away (a normal and relatively healthy sign of developing attachment) and is doing so in the only way she knows how - pretend to be sick and the school will "mandate" mom contact. Can you set up a healthier alternative? A phone call home or to you every lunch hour? An exchange of text messages over recess if she is allowed? The seeking connection and attachment is a good thing (even if done in an unhealthy way) so can you turn it around into a way that works for you?