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Hi everyone,
My husband and I are current foster parents in Marshall county and have received some some pretty bad news in regards to our fertility, though I have to say we kind of expected it. Anyway, we are thinking about trying to adopt through the state but we are unsure of where to start. Do we just contact our local agency or are there other steps to take first? We have been told we will need a new homestudy even though we had one in October. Also, my stepson is only 3 years old so we do not want to adopt a child over that age. We currently only foster 4 yrs and under and have never had a placement.:( Are we out of our minds to think that we will have a chance to adopt a child that young from the state? If anyone has experience with this, or any advice to offer we would greatly appreciate it!
Hello,
Sorry you got some bad news. There is hope to adopt from the State, but it can be long and painful!
Our first case, took us 3 1/2 years from placement to TPR/adoption. This was a case where neither bio was doing any services, clear cut abandonment. B/c we filed for adoption before TPR had been done, based on abandonment, we also entered a whole new world of the courts. We hired a lawyer to fight for these kids. It cost quite a bit of money. We'd do it again in a heart beat but we were not prepared for the long 2 1/2 yr court battle that ensued.
Our 2nd case, has lasted 3 1/2 years and we are not done yet. This case went from RU to TPR, TPR denied, back to RU, one sibling RU'd, then back in care, TPR goal again, TPR dropped, RU, TPR goal, and finally TPR won on 1 bio, consents signed w/ 2nd. This was a case where the first year of the case, the bio was no where to be found.
There are cases where adoption happens faster. There are cases where adoptions take longer. I know a family that has had a child since birth, she is almost 5, and although TPR happened, adoption has not.
I should point out, our akids were 2, 3, and 4 when they came into care. Our almost adopted kids were 11 mos, and 1 month when they came into care. Yes, they were older by the time adoption came around, but they were w/ us during those years.
What is your license set up as now? When you did the FAKT training, did you also take the 4 hours of the adoption classes? I'd mention to your home finder that you are interested in adoption. Perhaps they know of a placement that is moving toward adoption that might be a good fit for your family. Talk to other foster parents, find out what they have done. I'm not sure but there are posts on here about getting SNAP approval for your homestudy...that opens the door to more possibilities. Good luck!
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Thanks so much for responding, we did not take any extra hours for adoption training when we did our fostering classes so we will definitely need to look into that. As of right now we just have a standard foster parenting license. I don't know anything about SNAP so we will look into that as well, if we decide to pursue adopting through the state. After hearing hearing so many stories of adoptions not going through or taking years to battle in court, my husband and I now need to decide if adotping through the state is right for us. While I understand and respect the fact that reunification is always the primary goal, it seems absurd to me that so many bio parents get chance after chance to "do the right thing" and can get their kids back after years of not providing for them and, in most cases, hardly ever even seeing them. I am not sure that a lengthy court battle is something we could handle, especially when the courts are biased against us from the start. I definitely appreciate all of your input so thanks again, so very much!