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Hi Everyone,
For the first 7 years of life my daughter lived with me and for the past 8 years she has lived with her father. He has since remarried and then refused to let me see our daughter. I lived in another state and he made it extremely difficult for me to pursue the matter. He sent me letters 3 years ago about my relinquising my rights and having his wife adopt her legally. After months of pondering the idea, I eventually agreed. I am assuming it is a "closed" adoption. (even though she knows me, we shared alot of years together and we now live in the same town.) I am just not allowed any parental rights.
I joined the Facebook community 6 months ago and have since began reconnecting with old friends. Everyone I went to school with, remembers I had an older daughter. I do not post anything about her or about the adoption. However, I do have ONE photo of her and my other daughter in my profile photos. It is private....only my friends.
We live in a very small town so we obviously have mutual friends who have viewed and shared the photos with the biological father and adoptive mother. Neither him or her are "My Facebook Friends". Today, I recieved a nasty email via Facebook from the adoptive mother. She claimed that it is illegal for me to have this picture posted and if I do not remove it, they will contact an attorney.
Again, the picture includes the "adopted child" as well as my daughter from my new marriage. The photo was taken after she was legally adopted. My family had the children all together.
My question is: Should I just remove it?? Is there any legal ramifications?
Thank you:thanks:
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It is the legally recognized parents who have the right and responsibility to decide where (and when and how) their child's photo can be displayed. You can only make that decision for the "other daughter" you mentioned who is legally your child - and the father and adoptive mom make that decision for the daugher who is legally their child.
Yes, they can pursue legal avenues to remove the photograph. They could pursue those legal avenues no matter who posted the photo - a friend, a school, a business, etc. It's not because you're the "biological mother" that this is an issue, it's because you are not the "legal mother" at this time.
So yes, I recommend that you remove the photo from being online at all. You may be keeping that photo private and "friends only", but others who see it are obviously not respecting that.
Sorry to hear you received a horrid e-mail. I was curious to know, did the a-Mother give a reason why she does not want your daughters picture online? Like the others pointed out, I'm sure legally they have the upper hand. Obviously I don't know the full story but it seems so heartless of her to ask you to remove the one picture of your child.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. It doesn't sound very fair to me. May I ask how your ex-husband was able to prevent you from visitation between the ages of 7 and 12, when you still retained your parental rights? That seems so wrong to me on many levels. Did you try going to court to enforce your visitation rights?
I'm sorry that your ex-husband's wife wrote you such a nasty note. Personally, I think she could have been a lot more tactful. As my grandmother used to alway say, you catch a lot more flies with honey than vinegar.
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Bananapancakes,
I too am sorry that Amom was not very nice about the picture. My advice also is to immediately remove it and to respond to Amom's message (she did open up a line of communication after all). I would be so kind and sweet to Amom, and apologize for posting the picture.
I really would try to keep communication open. You know, just be friendly and positive. Your daughter will be looking for you in a few years.
Saj
I lived over 2 hours away and he claimed that he did not want our daughter traveling all that way and he used the fact that I lived in a city against me. I had to take the bus for 4 hours every time I wanted to file a contempt order...which I did several times. The judge was a joke!!! At the contempt hearings, all she said to him was that it was in the order that I have visitation. She told him he had to let me see her and send me report cards, soccer game schedules and any other extracurricular activity schedule to keep me in the loop. He always put on a nice show for the judge and agreed. But the very next day....it was back to the same cherade. I took him to court 4 times for contempt and nothing was ever enforced!!
Thanks everyone!! I did remove the picture and I did sent a very nice email back to her. I had to wait several days....as you can imagine the things I would have sent if I didn't wait!!! I apologized stating I didn't post it to hurt her feelings and that I respected the job as a mother she has been doing. Hopefully in the future, when my daughter does come to me for answers, there will be nothing negative they can add!!
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