natural mother and both sisters gone

I'm very sorry for your loss. When my search finally achieved results I found have 2 birth sisters but both my mother and father were already gone. It's not easy. I know.

Thank you Mosel for your reply. It is hard, especially as she also never seemed to have told anyone about me (she was living overseas at the time) so I will never know what she really felt about giving me up (though my adoption info pack did say she had very mixed feeling about giving me up). I have now met most of my uncles who are lovely and kind and 2 of my uncles and I exchange emails every week or so. We are now trying to see if we can locate my bfather (although I don't really care that much if we don't because after all he wasn't there for my bmother when he needed her most). What I would really like is to meet someone who knew I existed. I sort of feel a bit fraudalent at the moment even though I have obvious proof of who I am. After all, you do hear about girls using the names of their friends when adopting their babies out (not that I think that happened with me, the info pack is too specific and there are things only my bmother would have known). What is your story Mosel? Do you get along with your sisters? Do they live in Germany? Catherine

Yes, both my sisters live along the northern coast of what use to be East Germany. We wrote each other for a while. One stopped writing me relatively quickly and the other shared letters with me for some time. I had to translate their letters and translate mine in to German before I sent them. The last letter I sent was in English. I never got a reply. They are both older than me by a few years. I do have a half sister but she wanted nothing to do with me when I was searching.My mother and father were in the process of splitting up when she relinquished me. They were rather poor and she had severe epilepsy. She died three years after my birth because of that. Had I stayed with her and witnessed that I suspect I'd have a lot more issues to contend with.I have copies of virtually all the documents associated with my adoption. My birth name was Heinz Peters. I was born in 1953. btw...what do you mean by 'adoption info packet'? Was that SOP in Germany.

Hi Mosel, I suspect that after a while, contact will die down with the relatives. However, there is a massive family reunion (descendants of a convict - I am Australian) at the end of the year which I have been invited to. Also, a lot of the cousins and a few uncles have Facebook so I check them out on there every now and then. Re: "Info pack". I am assuming that when my bmother went into the home for unmarried mothers in NZ, she was interviewed about health, general family history and a bit of information on the father. This information was then released to me after I asked for it after receiving my birth certificate. I actually received my birth many years ago but did nothing about it (as I didn't want to disrupt her life, thinking she probably was married with lots of children - not realising the truth. I also thought that she would contact me when ready). However, about 5 years ago, I looked up her name on the internet and found that she had died. I was actually able to work out from newspaper obituaries & electorals where her brothers lived but was a bit hesitant about contacting them. It has taken me this long to build up the courage. I'm sorry that your bmother was so unwell during her life. I was 16 when my bmother died so that would have been a very vulnerable age if I had been living with her. However, even though I love my adopted family, I can't necessarily say I would have been worse off with my biological family, it just would have been a difficult life. The uncles all said "why didn't she tell her parents, they would have come and got her and brought her home". I think though that my bmother didn't want to put more pressure on her parents finances (they were struggling farmers) and being overseas at the time, I feel she made the only decision she felt she could make at the time. From all accounts, she was a kind and maternal lady so would have probably made a good mother. She had a lot to do with children throughout her life (she worked as a nanny before working as a nurse, she loved all her nieces and nephews). I also think looking at her photos that she is rather beautiful but of course I am biased LOL. What is SOP? Also, have you received many photos of your bmother/bfather? Do you feel a connection to them at all? The more I hear about my bmother, I do feel that certain aspects of her personality are similar to mine and others are a lot different. There are similiarities in appearance though she is far prettier (I'm not putting myself down, it is the truth). Anyway, thanks for replying to my original message. I did it a while ago and noticed that hardly anyone read it and felt embarrassed about writing it. I have had replies to a couple of other threads so it might have been that this thread was very similar to another thread I wrote.

Hi Mosel, I suspect that after a while, contact will die down with the relatives. However, there is a massive family reunion (descendants of a convict - I am Australian) at the end of the year which I have been invited to. Also, a lot of the cousins and a few uncles have Facebook so I check them out on there every now and then. Re: "Info pack". I am assuming that when my bmother went into the home for unmarried mothers in NZ, she was interviewed about health, general family history and a bit of information on the father. This information was then released to me after I asked for it after receiving my birth certificate. That's what I meant by info pack. I actually received my birth certificate many years ago but did nothing about it (as I didn't want to disrupt her life, thinking she probably was married with lots of children - not realising the truth. I also thought that she would contact me when ready). However, about 5 years ago, I looked up her name on the internet and found that she had died. I was actually able to work out from newspaper obituaries & electoral rolls where her brothers lived but was a bit hesitant about contacting them. It has taken me this long to build up the courage. I'm sorry that your bmother was so unwell during her life. I was 16 when my bmother died so that would have been a very vulnerable age if I had been living with her. However, even though I love my adopted family, I can't necessarily say I would have been worse off with my biological family, it just would have been a different life. The uncles all said "why didn't she tell her parents, they would have come and got her and brought her home". I think though that my bmother didn't want to put more pressure on her parents finances (they were struggling farmers) and being overseas at the time, I feel she made the only decision she felt she could make at the time. From all accounts, she was a kind and maternal lady so would have probably made a good mother. She had a lot to do with children throughout her life (she worked as a nanny before working as a nurse, she loved all her nieces and nephews). I also think looking at her photos that she is rather beautiful but of course I am biased LOL. What is SOP? Also, have you received many photos of your bmother/bfather? Do you feel a connection to them at all? The more I hear about my bmother, I do feel that certain aspects of her personality are similar to mine and others are a lot different. There are similiarities in appearance though she is far prettier. Anyway, thanks for replying to my original message. I did it a while ago and noticed that hardly anyone read it and felt embarrassed about writing it. I have had replies to a couple of other threads so it might have been that this thread was very similar to another thread I wrote.

Hi Caths,SOP stands for "standard operating procedure".I have pictures of both my mother and father, and 1 of my birth sisters with her family. Facialy I am definitely my mother's son. Otherwise, physically I am all my dad. Tall and skinny.:)I've often wondered what would my issues be if I had the opportunity to live a little of my life with my mother, only to watch her die.Were you given up at birth, as I was?

Hi Mosel, Yes, I was given up at birth. The hospital I was born in seems to have been a hospital where adoptions were arranged for unmarried mothers. I was in hospital for 3 months though because of a problem with the size of my head (it is normal now though!) and then I was adopted out. I know what you mean about the issues thing, in my own life, noone I knew died until I was at least 35 and they were all elderly, so I don't know how I would have coped losing a mother at 16. Even though if you had lived with your bmother you may not have remembered her dying being only 3, you would have felt the loss for the rest of your life. It is sad to think that these days, your bmother's epilepsy would probably be well controlled. I feel no resentment about my bmother giving me up. She was alone in a foreign country and did what she thought was best. She was from a small country town where everybody knew each other (and seemed to be related to each other LOL) and her parents were respected members of that community, so I think she didn't want to bring shame on them. Catherine

:) I noticed you're from down-under. I'm from up-top :) We can't be serious all the time on this forum. We need/should take a break once in a while.

I'm pretty unserious most of the time in real life, to be honest. But I know what you mean. If Jesus were born today: Child advocates would remove the child from the custody of his mother when they discovered she was shacking with a guy (not the child's father) in a barn. In most jurisdictions that would constitute child neglect. Of course, Mary would have an underpaid court appointed attorney to represent her in the dependent-neglect proceeding, and Joseph would be out of luck once it was determined that paternity could not be established within a reasonable degree of medical certainty through blood or DNA testing. (97% probability that Joe was the dad is sufficient, but absent divine intervention, that couldn't happen, hmmm?) He would be excluded from juvenile court as a stranger to the proceeding and investigated for possible sexual deviance (all those oxen and ***** around), and he would be told that he had no standing to object since he was not the natural father of the child and was not yet married to Mary (by their own admissions they had not yet consummated their union). The Division of Children and Family Services would ask the court to order Mary to take parenting classes, and the Court would order that homemaker services be provided as well, since obviously Mary can't keep house properly (the place where the DHS workers found the child was kept remarkably like a barn). Mary would be allowed to have one visit with Jesus per week at the Centers for Youth and Families. The visit would be one hour long, and supervised by a therapist since Jesus would no doubt be put in therapeutic foster care to prevent psychological damage resulting from the horrible lack of civilization to which he had been exposed at such a tender age. At the eighteen month dispositional hearing, the court would consider terminating parental rights because of Mary's refusal to bring a paternity suit against Jesus' true biological father (or even to identify him to the satisfaction of the Court). The Court would be appalled at the life choices Mary would have made: she would have completed her marriage to Joseph (that suspected sexual deviant) and had more children by him, which was obviously contrary to Jesus' best interest. Since Mary and Joseph had fled the jurisdiction with Jesus once to escape encounters with the authorities, they would determine that Mary and Joe had nefarious plans to abscond with the Ward of the State to Egypt again, where they would possibly engage in dangerous and illegal activities with him. Parental rights would be terminated, and Jesus would be put up for adoption. He would be adopted by the Herods, a well-connected and politically powerful family, who have been searching for just such a child as Jesus. Of course, Jesus will die in the custody of his adoptive family, because that's all they wanted him for in the first place. Social services will NOT have intervened prior to his death because the state social workers could never imagine someone as highly placed as the Herods exploiting children or torturing them to death. The political ramifications for the Herods would have been too severe. In all likelihood, the social service agencies would cover up the death as one occurring from accident, and Herod's good name will be preserved. The Pope will be out of work, and pagan deities will dance on the head of a pin.

Excellent! :):)