Scared to try and adopt again.

Our family has adopted many times. We have adopted six infants and two of them are now grown and on their own. :) Four are still at home...now ranging in ages 8yrs to 11months. All are AA or a combination of AA. We are CC. We are older than most adopting couples. (52 to be exact.) All were 'already born babies'. If you don't want to put yourself out there...and believe me, *I* understand that grief and anxiousness in wondering if you're doing the right thing, if you'll EVER get chosen, etc.........then go the 'already born baby' route. You might have to wait a bit longer, it's true. But, when you're notified that you're the family, you'll know the biological parents thought about their choice AFTER the baby was born. You'll also know that there's already been TPR....or nearly so---depending on where the baby is born. You won't have to lose $$ over someone changing their mind at the last moment. I don't know your age, but I suspect you're a young couple. You've already adopted one child; you're already a transracial family. Believe me, you have little to worry about in terms of NOT being chosen. You have the family many biological families are looking for! Please feel free to pm me if I could answer any other questions for you. Good luck on your journey. Your baby will find you---I think you could count on that! :) Sincerely, Linny

Thank you for your replay. I am hoping that being a family with an bi racial child in our home does help us, I feel like we could use to extra help. We were thinking about when we adopt for the 2nd time to try for cc but also thought more about it and we feel that if we have one bi racial child we would prefer if they are all non cc so it makes it easier for our children to fit into our family, so nobody feels like the odd one out. After reading your post for some one who has BEEN there it is reasuring that we are in a good position for this to happen. I didn't realize or have I heard about the after birth adoption that is new to me I will have to research that. Thanks you very much. BeccaYes we are a young couple 29 and 31 :)

Thank you for your replay. I am hoping that being a family with an bi racial child in our home does help us, I feel like we could use to extra help. We were thinking about when we adopt for the 2nd time to try for cc but also thought more about it and we feel that if we have one bi racial child we would prefer if they are all non cc so it makes it easier for our children to fit into our family, so nobody feels like the odd one out. After reading your post for some one who has BEEN there it is reasuring that we are in a good position for this to happen. I didn't realize or have I heard about the after birth adoption that is new to me I will have to research that. Thanks you very much. BeccaYes we are a young couple 29 and 31 :)

I've never had a failed match so I can't speak to that. I'm sure it's really hard and must make it tough to put yourselves out there again. Even if you haven't had a failed match, there's always that weirdness of getting excited at being matched yet having to hold yourself back a little in case it doesn't work out-it's just never easy. As for adopting transracially, don't think you won't be chosen because you are Caucasian. My son's birth mom wanted a Caucasian family for him (he's African-American/Liberian). I know quite a few Caucasian families who have adopted AA or biracial or multiracial babies and there are lots of people here on A.com that have adopted transracially. Already having a child of color in your home will help a lot. Our first child is Caucasian and it didn't stop our son's bmom from choosing us but I think in many cases, birth moms like seeing other children of color in the home already. I think whether you get chosen is based more on things you are open to like drug exposure, medical issues or family medical history, willingness to have some openness in your adoption. Plus the random luck that someone will just be attracted to your profile. Good luck getting out there again and congratulations on the adoption of your daughter!

You sound a lot like us! We wanted to adopt an AA girl, we waited a really long time & had many of the thoughts you're having. After 2 hard years of waiting, a couple failed matches, & being ripped off by an unethical agency we finally got chosen by a wonderful birthmother with a wonderful agency & adopted a beautiful AA baby girl who was everything we dreamed of & more. Hopefully your baby is out there too! PM me if you want to talk.I dont mean to sound ignorant, but what is Athabaskan? I've never heard of that nationality.

It is hard to have the failed adoptions. Our agency was NOT kind when it failed. They were very cold hearted about the whole thing and are for sure in it for the money. I am hoping and praying that this goes better the 2nd time around. I hope that having bi racial children helps us out, our family isnt full yet. I talked a lot in the birth mom letter about what we have learned about being parents and less about saying we are understand and are sorry for the situation she is in. Athabaskan are Alaska Natives they live in Interior Alaska and Eskimo live further North. But Eskimo people generally are smaller, wider, and have rounder faces. Athabaskan people look like most Native Americans down in the states. They are taller, and more slender then Eskimo, and generally a bit heavier set then Native Americans.