Our daughter wont stop stealing.

Craziest,RAD IS the issue here. Stealing, lying, "hurting" a defenseless animal. Taking the toys doesn't physically hurt the dog, but she is trying to harm the dog's "feelings"--mine did this just this morning when she was supposed to be feeding our dog. She held the cup of food over the dog's head instead of dropping it into the bowl...forever! The poor dog sat there patiently! When I saw what she was doing, I suggested she go do some strong sitting because she clearly need to "rest" and get herself strong again to be able to handle dog chores. The moment I fear for our dog's safety, she'll be removed from dog (kept near me, away from dog). I don't think this will happen, but if it does, I'm prepared to respond.Are you familiar with Nancy Thomas' work? Check out her site at attachment dot org. Click the Parents tab and then the Articles tab and you'll see one titled, "It Takes a Thief." (There she tells the whys of stealing and what we parents can do about it.) Lots of other great tips there, too.Good luck, craziest! This is tough work, but the odds are in your daughter's favor if you parent "therapeutically" since she's still so young! Her conscience isn't fully developed yet, so there's still time! :love: P.S. Wanted to add that "talking" doesn't work with these kids, but actions do. Respond therapeutically, keeping a cool head and a "smile all the way up to your eyes." (It will get worse first, because her old securities of ticking you off (feeling like she's able to push you away to protect her heart) will be taken away. AND...when she sees that she can't tick you or your husband off, she WILL go for your dog! So be sure you anticipate that and keep the dog away from her (or daughter in line-of-sight) until she's healed.

Well I am happy to say that when our Daughter took another 2 tennis balls and hid them from our dog we explained that for ever toy she takes she looses 2 of hers. We went up to her room and I picked out 4 of her toys to give to the dog. 2 of which were pretty dear to her, she got really upset and bawled it wasnt fair. We talked about how this is how the dog feels when you take her things. When we went down stairs to give the dog her new toys our daughter looked really upset looked at the dog and gave her a big hug. That was promising to see. I really stung when she had to give up her toys so we will be continuing this, it seems promising.

We did the same with our 7 year old who was stealing toys from friends. We tried talking about it and making him return the toys. None of that phased him. When he stole for about the 5th time, I very calmly went in his room and started going through his toys saying "OOOO I like this, I think I want this!" I stuffed 3 of his favorite toys under my shirt and in my pockets and walked out of the room. I hid them and refused to tell him when or if he could have them back. I just kept saying "What's wrong with what I did? I liked those toys and I wanted them so I took them? What's the matter with that?? I let it go on for about a week and then I told him he had to explain to me why stealing is wrong. He gave a very detailed and empathetic answer and was allowed to earn 1 toy back for every week that he did not steal. I also told him that if I caught him stealing again, he would lose a toy permanently. (oh and I did return one of his Christmas presents because it was the exact thing he had stolen from his friend at school) He cried about that too, oh well! It has been about 2 months and we have not caught him stealing again. I DO think that any child with RAD should have a therapist and that parents should check with the therapist about these things to get their opinion. But, RAD or not, there must be consequences for behavior and children must learn to feel empathy. We have to teach them that one way or another.

Make 100% certain that your DD knows you love her even when she makes bad choices. Don't with hold affection or back away from her when she does these things. In fact, I would lay it on thick in these times especially because it is probably her unconcious goal to push you away! If you back away, you may be creating a cycle.