Honesty

Originally Posted By NicksterMommyI know why, but I can in no way justify it. By the time you have exhausted infertility treatments and go through the homestudy, you have spent YEARS yearning for a child. The final step is to be chosen by a Bmom. Some Aparents make the poor choice to say whatever the Bmom wants to hear so they can have a baby. It is a much more serious version of lying during an interview and padding a resume. It is 100% WRONG, but there are bad apples in any group. Please don't think that all Aparents do this because we don't. I would think it would backfire in the long run when the child finds out how they shafted his/her Bparents.Re: contact -- Maybe less Aparents would do this if they had to put the agreement in writing. I can see where it gets tricky legally because judges wouldn't want to undo an adoption over the contact issue. Still, I found it surprising that I didn't have to sign anything saying that I would provide pix and letters. It was solely an oral agreement that I am morally, but not legally, bound to do.

Originally Posted By BonnieI agree with you. We send pics, letters and videos to our bmom. I would never think of stopping that contact for any reason. Our agreement is also verbal, not legally enforceable, but to me it's a requirement of this process.We recently received a request from the bgrandparents for updates to be sent to them as well. Our bmom does not get along with her family, and before we did ANYTHING, we asked bmom if this was okay. She said no. Since our agreement is with her, we will honor her widh, even though we would have been happy to send things to the bgrandparents, too.To us, our loyalty is with our bmom and we will not betray it. Too bad others don't feel like this, right?