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Hello! I'm new here, but have been reading a lot of what has been posted. My husband and I have just place the first call to start the adoption process, and it seems that we are a "special case." So from you're experience, what are the odds that they will place a child with us?
Here are the stats -
Husband is 54 years old
I am 32 years old
We have been together for almost ten years, married for six years this June. We have both been married before.
We each have a son from previous marriages, ages 26 (he no longer lives at home) and 13. We also have two girls together, ages 3 and 4 months.
I am in exceptional health. My husband has Parkinson's disease, but is VERY healthy. (He is not at all disabled - still works a full time very active job, is restoring an old classic car, is building a race car to race very soon, chases after our bio kids, etc.)
We would like to adopt a boy, preferably no older than 11 or 12, race does not matter, but because we do have other children, no medical or serious physical issues, also no sexual abuse. We are going thru the state agency to apply. At this time, we simply can't afford all the fees associated with international or private adoption.
So do you think we will be laughed out of the room, or will the CWs actually give us a chance?
Thanks!!!
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I have to be honest here.......I suspect that having many children between the two of you will make a difference. I also suspect that because of his dx, it *will* make a difference---even if they tell you it won't.
But even more, if you're looking to have a child----up to 11 or 12-----that has no sexual abuse.....your wait would be long regardless of any of the above.
The majority of children in the foster care system have been sexually abused. I believe the number is something like 90-97%. Sad, but true. And honestly, having adopted privately as well as through the foster care system, putting an older child from foster care into a home with such young ones (3yrs and 4months) is taking some real risk.
I think I'm known here for being a person that tries to encourage others to 'never give up'---because I think everyone should be given the chance to present themselves if they want to adopt. But, because of your other childrens' ages......I think you may be waiting for a long time.
IF you were to get a placement for an infant...that would be ideal, as far as I'd see it. And perhaps you're in an area that's more enlighened (as I say) to NOT allowing babies to go back and forth in foster care while bios try to get their act together. If you're in that kind of state/area---then you may have a decent chance to adopt an infant.
My experience has been in an area that allows babies to linger FOREVER...and thus, getting an infant to adopt would be almost impossible.
I wish you well.
Sincerely,
Linny
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