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I'd be curious to hear from adoptees who have kids what sort of reactions they've had from their kids regarding their own birth roots, about their birth grandparents, about their parents' search/reunion, etc; Do they encounter similar feelings of identity confusion, shame, loss, etc? How did they feel meeting their birth grandparents? How did they react when you told them about you being an adoptee?
I recall that my own niece, the daughter of my adopted brother, had once said to her mom that she felt bad about being 'different' as a result of her dad being an adoptee.
Do they encounter similar feelings of identity confusion, shame, loss, etc? How did they feel meeting their birth grandparents? How did they react when you told them about you being an adoptee?
Both of my children call my bparents "grandma & grandpa", my children know I'm adopted at that my aparents are "mom & dad". They know that while I call my bparents by their first names, they are to address them as " grandma & grandpa" ( they call my aparents grandma & grandpa too). They have know my bparents since birth, so it's no big deal.
-Manni
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I am new to reunion, I have met my bfamilly but not bmom yet only talked to her on the phone so far since she lives far away. I havent told my oldest son that I found them yet, I tested the waters the other day and asked him "IF I found my birth familly would you want to meet them" let me preface this with the fact he knows nothing of what I have learned from my bfamilly so far. He told me he didnt want to meet my bmom and when I asked why he said because she had me at an early age and that wasnt right. I am using his words my aparents dont talk to him about any of that they agree its my place to tell him more when I think he is ready. So his comment came as a suprise seeing as I have told him nothing other than I was adopted. He then goes on to tell me he would be ok meeting the rest of the familly IF they "liked the same things he did", I found that cute and childlike that stuff he liked was the deal breaker. I found it odd what he said about my bmom though. I am not going to push him into anything he doesnt want to do but thought I would share my situation about my kids and thier thoughts.