My client asked me to adopt her baby

Without knowing all the facts I will give you my answer based on my dealings with a similar situation where the mother has mental illness issues(untreated) and no family help with anything. If the baby has been with a foster family for a while, it is probably best that they adopt the baby. There can still be an open adoption and you can help reassure the Mom that it is what is best for her child. When our friend had her baby and he was taken by CPS, we did not want to adopt him because it would put us in an awkward situation with trying to deal with an open adoption and a mother who knew no boundaries and would not adhere to them. Because she knew us, it made her think she could be come to our house at any time. I could only imagine what it would have been like if we had her baby. You can talk to the CW about the Mom and give your professional opinion about her possible future and ability to take care of a child. You are in a position to give an opinion on this matter and also to help the Mom decide about the OA. I'm not saying you shouldn't inquire about adopting, but from my perspective the connection you have may lead to consequences you haven't thought of in the future. Really think about what will be the best situation for the baby in the long run.

It is unethical. Period. Take a look at the NASW code of ethics. This is beyond the pale. Help her get the help she needs

Thank you for ur response. I have never been in a situation like this and I was not sure what to do; therefore, I wanted to get feedback from the messageboard. But, I dont want to feel attacked for asking a question or seeking advice.

Sorry if you took it as an attack. However, you have a vulnerable client who needs assistance beyond what you can give her. You are ethically obligated to provide her services. That will hopefully allow her to keep her family intact. It is ethical social work practice. My question is why didn't you bring this to your boss.

Yes, it is a huge conflict of interest. As Brenda pointed out, you should be speaking to your supervisor about this issue. I looked thru your other threads, trying to figure out what type of service you provide to your mentally ill client. Although you call yourself her caseworker in another thread, it sounds like she already has a caseworker? So I'm assuming that you're part of her mental-health team, rather than social services. In either case, it would be unethical for you to adopt this patient's child.

In your defense: I don't blame you at all for asking. Birth mothers choose adoptive parents -- some who they know in non-personal ways -- all of the time. And in this forum alone we've seen foster parent teachers who take in their own displaced students, relatives who foster the children of addicts who still live in the same house, and "identified surrenders" -- bio parents agreeing to adoption contingent upon their child being adopted by the parent of their choice. These situations could technically be labeled "unethical" but, in the interest of the children, are deemed better solutions than textbook procedure for one reason or another. Furthermore, I completely understand why you would be ambiguous about your formal title and relation to this young lady in the interest of anonymity. I can also understand why you would seek anonymous feedback before going to your boss. Some people call a friend. Some people, like all of us, seek the advice from those we know are experienced. Having said that, I do tend to agree that it's best to approach this young woman's statement professionally, starting with recording it and discussing with your peers. Best wishes, Jennifer

[QUOTE=I don't blame you at all for asking. Birth mothers choose adoptive parents -- some who they know in non-personal ways -- all of the time. And in this forum alone we've seen foster parent teachers who take in their own displaced students, relatives who foster the children of addicts who still live in the same house, and "identified surrenders" -- bio parents agreeing to adoption contingent upon their child being adopted by the parent of their choice. These situations could technically be labeled "unethical" but, in the interest of the children, are deemed better solutions than textbook procedure for one reason or another. [/QUOTE] Sorry for the delayed response but I have been really busy lately because I received a new placement...but to respond to the quote...that is exactly what was giving me the conflict. I have seen so many ppl take on children from other families that were in crisis. To answer other questions I am the caseworker to this client in the residential setting she lives in; therefore, placing me in a position to become directly involved with this situation. She also has a caseworker at the fostercare agency who created the caseplan based on the desires my client expressed in the beginning. Overtime, things became complicated becasue the client kept changing her mind about reunification. I have talked to my supervisor on numerous occasions about the client. Even explaining to him the laws in NY about her parental rights and how long children can remain in fostercare. From the mental health perspective and his professional opinion...he stated we should allow the client to make her own decisions concerning her child regardless of her level of functioning and follow the case plan from the foster care agency and if she loses her rights before resolving the problem then it was her decision. In a private conversation is when the client said those words to me. Of course, I went back and forth with this and that is the reason why I posted on the board because I knew someone would be able to give guidance. My client knows she is unable to parent but she still wanted contact. I spoke to her and told her that I am unable to grant her request. We finally came up with the paternal grandmother as a solution, which is still tricky. Grandmother is willing to adopt the baby once she turns 2 years old...which leaves her in foster care 4 2 years total. So of course, now the foster mom is upset ( I have talked to her on several occassions) because the baby has been with her since she was 5 days old. The foster care agency caseworker changed the case plan and we went to court to see if the grandmother could be used as a possible resource. So, I am alot better now...I was also afraid of the future of the baby and my clients possible response if there wasn't a reasonable resolution and the feelings of being responsible for the outcome..good or bad. However, this experience has given me the opportunity to look at fostercare from almost every angle from the parents perspective, the FC caseworker's perspective, the judge, the law guardians, the children and of course the foster parents perspective.