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Hiya, I'm a rare poster. But, I had to say something. Posts like "Single parent or Parent who is Single" make me nervous. There was a lot of talk about a partner as a support. I really want to be a parent. I have no romantic prospects. This may change in the future, I'm not completely hopeless. I graduate college in the summer of 2012 at the age of 39. It will take at least a few months to get myself set up in a new city and in a new place. I plan to become a Juvenile Probation Officer. The State of Georgia doesn't have a minimum age limit and hopefully the unemployment rates won't continue to climb by then. (yeah, I know, I'm a dreamer.)
Anyway, best case scenario doesn't have me steady and ready to start the process until the beginning of 2013 at the latest. (unless I manage to get a book published, which...if my query letters are any indication...isn't going to happen any time soon) So, I either need to get more friends or something else because my family support system is crumbling. I have one solid friend I can depend on and she lives in Florida now.
You can read a previous post to see why my sister won't count. (She miscarried, btw.) My parents' health is getting worrisome as they get older.
So, I have the lack of a solid support group and the fact that I'm a single male against me. I'm not sure what to do. I tend to make friends rarely. I could go to church more often, but the LDS church frowns on single men (and to a lesser extent, women) adopting and probably wouldn't be in my corner much. I suppose I could try singles groups when I move to another town...book groups...writers' groups...but I'm not sure.
Thanks for listening to my whine...now where's that cheese? (sorry, lame joke to improve the mood)
David
PS. Speaking of Florida, I've heard it's lousy on single parents...is that true?
So, I have the lack of a solid support group and the fact that I'm a single male against me. I'm not sure what to do. I tend to make friends rarely. I could go to church more often, but the LDS church frowns on single men (and to a lesser extent, women) adopting and probably wouldn't be in my corner much. I suppose I could try singles groups when I move to another town...book groups...writers' groups...but I'm not sure.
David, I can relate to most of what you said about lacking a solid support system ( By God's grace I have a cousin that will be here Monday from Africa) but aside from that I have been pretty much on my own(my daughter is almost two) with most of my family being overseas. My point is you can do it and God will provide the support you need when you need it and it may be the people you expect it to be.
As for Florida being hard on singles what wasn't the case for me in fact it went very smoothly.
Best wishes and please keep us posted as things unfold.
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Don't let that stop you from your dreams of parenthood...I'm sure by now you have seen that there are adoptive parent networks, social groups, etc. around that will allow you to build new relationships/friendships...
You could definitely do some of the things you mentioned (meeting people via church functions) but you don't have to know a "lot" of people in order to get support..
Take it from me, just because you have a large family or a bunch of friends doesn't mean they will actually "step up" if needed...people can say one thing and do the complete opposite...lol
David, I am just about done with IMPACT class here in GA. Believe it or not, there are two single men in class and I can tell you they are very much accepted.
The CWs are so proud to have them and of course WE ALL tease them something horrible but there is NOTHING wrong with a single man wanting to parent. :banana:
Keep your head up!
Good luck to you in ALL of your adventures
Keep us posted lil daddy to be:happydance:
From what I have heard about FL they have more kids in foster care than they know what to do with.
I think it is great you want to adopt. I am a single F who is wanting to adopt older kids from foster care. People ask really dumb questions and think I am crazy for taking on older kids.
honestly, the one thing that will put both your mind at ease and get rid of the support question will be knowing there will be a person or couple that will take your child in case of a tragic premature death.
I can't speak for lack of support, I have it from my family and friends, but my family is getting older so my peace of mind came when I made my plans for my will.....I know it sounds morbid, but trust me it makes everything much less worrisome for the moment.
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