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We had our first foster placements placed with us less then 2 weeks ago. A 2 week old baby girl and a little 4 yr old boy with Autism.
First we jumped into this ready to reunite kids with birthmother and work as a team then realized she didn't want to work as a team and kept telling state worker things about us that wasn't true. So we stopped supervising visitation and got social workers to do that.
Today was the first day the stateworker came to the house to visit.
Our foster son was having a bad day and screaming and crying from the time he woke up this morning until now. We explained to her he woke up this way and wasnt caused by us but I am not sure if she was satisfied when she left.
She also turned the table on us before she left and wanted to know our reason for not supervising the visits how it is a long time for birthmother in between visits and we should make an effort to call her. In the first week we were accused of not putting hats on baby, smoking around kids, over medicating the little boy and putting him on baby formula, causing a diarrhea and then before state worker leaves she asks me if baby has been put on feeding schedule. I said no schedule but she eats every 3 to 4 hrs and she said birth mother was concerned I was feeding her too much. When she left I felt like just giving up.
I want to stick it out but I told hubby if our foster care worker comes back telling us we are doing something else wrong that I am going to tell him to come get the kids.
Is it just me or is this the emotions everyone goes through.
I asked state social worker if she seen anything we were doing wrong and she said thanks for picking my brain and couldnt think of anything.
Does anyone else's child with Autism have days like this and do you think it is something we are doing or not doing to make him act like this?
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This is autism and most of the kids that i have had with autism do not transition well at all. Have you been told what works for him ? Does he have sensory issues or what are his triggers. Also welcome to foster care it is rare that bio parents will like anything you are doing. I have had good relationship with bio parents and bad it comes with the territory. Just take it one day at a time.
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Nobody knows much about him other then he likes junkfood. well at least when they brought him the birthmother sent a list of foods he liked but never said anything about triggers, sensory issues, what works for her and doesn't work for her. We aren't giving up on him. He is a smart lovable lil boy and I have high hopes that school is going to help him sooo much!
Thanks for the reply!
In my house, that could be EITHER of my kids on any given day. My son has autism... my daughter is extremely strong-willed and if she wakes up mad, she will usually stay mad and go to bed mad.... she did today.It is challenging.Remember that the birthparents are trying to deflect their own shortcomings and look for fault with you because they have lost all control of their children. Picking apart what you're doing is just how they are coping with the loss of their little ones.
Hello,
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know that sometimes kids with autism just get in a mood for no reason you can tell. Very likely there is a reason, but you may not detect it and he's too young to understand the cause and effect. And moods can change in a heartbeat.
If the little boy has autism it is very likely that he has sensory issues. If you are not familiar with sensory integration, please let me know and I'll explain more.
Kids with autism thrive on structure and predictability. He's probably out of sorts being in a new house, so whatever you can make the same each day will comfort him. Sometimes my son even wants to run through the same script when he wakes up, using the same words, same tone, etc. Also know that if you change something on him, even if it's to his advantage, he might not like it. For example, my son found a present I'd planned to give him the following day. I told him it wasn't for him and moved it. Then when I gave it to him the next day he had a meltdown.
I hope the social worker is experienced enough to understand the dynamics at play. And I hope she also understands a little about autism.
Best of luck,
:flower:
Kysweetheart2007
Our foster son was having a bad day and screaming and crying from the time he woke up this morning until now. We explained to her he woke up this way and wasnt caused by us but I am not sure if she was satisfied when she left.
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