physical resemblence sought when meeting other families

Hi ripples I don't look a lot like my biological uncles/cousins but I do feel connected to them to a certain extent even though I have only just met them. This might be because they have made me feel like one of the family. Also, I did a lot of family history study on the internet before contacting them so I knew a bit about them before contacting them. I do resemble my bmother to a certain degree but unfortunately she died when she was only 39 (when I was 16) so unfortunately I will never know exactly how much I resemble her even though I now have a lot of photos of her. I do know though that my uncles were very fond of their sister. So I don't think you necessarily need to look like your biological relatives to feel connected to them. Having said that, it is early days and I may not feel that way in a year's time LOL (though seriously I do think they will always make me feel I am part of the family even if we don't keep in constant touch) By the way, I hear you are a fellow Aussie (I'm from NSW)

Yep - I'm an Aussie of sorts who's lived in a gazillion countries, cities, cultures who used to largely subscribe to the 'nurture over nature' perspective. Now that I've met b-family, I'm amazed to realize just how much automatic 'pull' the 'nature'/biology side of things is for me. I'd never realised how much I automatically look for physical resemblences among relations when I meet other people and their family. Sort of like I didn't know what I'd missed until I found it! Glad to hear that your meeting your uncle/cousins is going well!:rockband:

Ripples, I grew up with both sides of my family having very strong family features - you could tell without even knowing there was a connection - and you could tell us kids were not. Since I have reunited with my family I think I am more keenly aware and looking for the resemblences in other families. But it is more than just physcial, it is mannerisms - certain looks, talking with hands or not just all the characteristics. I do think we try hard to not focus on it with our families by adoption. Kind regards,Dickons

Well said. Again, amazing how our subconsciousness works so hard yet so unseen!

I think our perceptions in this regard are much more a factor of emotion than appearance and real resemblance. I am more often surprised at how little biological family members resemble one another physically.

New research states that it is our genetic makeup that defines who can recognise facial features. [url=http://www.ucl.ac.uk/news/news-articles/1002/10022302]Genes responsible for ability to recognise faces[/url] The link below takes you to a test to see how well you can remember faces. [url=http://www.faceblind.org/facetests/index.php]Visual and Face Recognition Tests on the Internet[/url] I would assume that plays into whether or not an individual will recognise family members by their physical features as well. Kind regards,Dickons

that was really fun! I got 90%!

I could pass as looking related to my Amom. People have even commented on how I look like my Mom and her sons. We would usually just giggle, but depending on who it was, or maybe even my mood, when I was young sometimes I would say, Thanks, yes we look alike, but I am adopted. (((sorry Mom))) I have always noticed genetic similarities in families, always. I guess I knew I was missing it. It thrills me, or interests me comparing family members similarities. It's something that we really didn't do in my adoptive home, until I had found my bio families. Now we ALL feel much more free to comment on everyone's similar genetic traits. But it is something that sometimes is sort of "outside the bubble" still when we are with our Afamily. It still freaks me out that my daughter looks so much like me, I can barely look at her pictures. I realized why I have such a hard time with that now. Not only do I see her, me, I now know I see my father, my brothers, my uncles, my mother, my sister, my husband and his mother, my son. Others have mentioned how they see people I wasn't able to meet in us, my grandmother,my brother, my aunt, cousins, etc. Everyone is visible in her in some way, me too. Freaks me out LOL but I LOVE it.

I have always looked at the physical resemblance in family groups, noting how I can identify them as a family unit. I did get some photos of my birth mother and was disappointed to see no physical resemblance. I always wanted to look like someone else not be alone again. To belong to a group of people but I still don't. Soobster

A lot of people say my brother and I look alike (both adopted, different bfamilies). I always thought that was pretty funny. It even happens with people who know we're not genetically related, like my ex-wife. However, she did admit that a lot of it may have been due to similarities in mannerisms more than physical features. I've actually never been very good at seeing familial similarities. I can see it in a lot of members of my family, but it took me years before I saw that. I've seen pictures of my bsister, and my mom thinks I look like her, but I don't see it. On the other hand, I saw a picture of my bmother's brother recently. I called my wife over and showed it to her and said "look, it's a picture of me in 30 years!" I really do see a resemblance between myself and him. Still haven't seen any pictures of my bparents, so no idea if I'll see anything there...

Ironically, my bmom has different colored eyes than I do, and everyone in my afamily has the same colored eyes. All my life people have said how much I look like my amom, although I NEVER saw it (same for my asister...she looks like she came straight out of Ireland :)). When I first found my bmom and saw her picture, my husband noticed how similar we looked in our faces, almost in every way, and I didn't see it. Until I took her picture, and mine, and lined them up in Photoshop. I messed with the transparency of my face over hers, and it was insane how many features we have that are the same -- our hairlines, noses, eye shapes, eyebrown, smiles, cheeks, chins...it's weird. And I have her hair. I'm not too sure on the bdad aspect, I only have one photo of him that I got from her, but it's tiny :). And as for my bbrother, I don't think we look that much alike, although my bmom says we do. I guess it depends on what people know and don't know. I've had all situations when it comes to looking like family members. Actually, the way my husband found out I was adopted when we first started dating was after he met my parents and sister he asked in a joking manner, and I told him that I actually was adopted -- he said I don't look or act like any of them.