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I received an amusing e-mail from an acquaintence of mine from church. She told me she has a male friend that is a professor at the university she works at that wants to meet me. No pressure and no obligation...LOL
I'm amused because I generally haven't used a babysitter (My mom or dad) for more than a trip to the grocery store or because it's rainy and cold and I don't want to do errands with her in that weather.
And she goes to bed at 7pm so it's not like my social life is vast for a couple of years.
So did any of you date or think of dating when your kids were that young? or did you just make friends and not focus on serious dating til your children were older.
Hi Dannie
When my kids were babies I did not date - I didn't meet men to date and didn't go looking. I felt that I spent enough time away from them working and wanted to spend more with them at home. I have recently started dating and my advice would be to go for it now if you have the energy/interest. It is much harder now that I have so many responsibilities and evening activities with my kids to build in time for dating. And your little one won't miss you at all while she is sleeping. Mine on the other hand are a little peeved that I think I deserve some me time LOL although they are mostly supportive. There is also the added complexity at this age of needing to be a good role model for the tweens and such. So my advice is learn from me - wish I had done this 10 years ago....
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A teeny bit...
I have rules though, like no PDA in front of DD (2.5 y.o.) - that includes hand holding and even sitting too closely.
I also didn't allow him to do anything that would potentially confuse DD... for instance, I wouldn't allow him to go inside DD's daycare when I picked her up. I was petrified she would run up to him and call him "daddy"... because that is what the other kids do when a male (their fathers) picked them up. I didn't want her to think "this is what you say and do when a male comes into the daycare". I would have been mortified...
I'm not sure if I explained that well, the guy I was dating didn't understand either... :) It did hurt his feelings, and I WAS sorry... but I just thought it was inappropriate.
DannieAS: Congrats on dating!! Date for me. My dating life consisted of meeting one guy at a Barnes and Noble. I have to tread lightly. My 12 yo doesn't want a "dad"; not sure why though. Good luck and keep us posted!!
What's wrong with a group date if your parents will babysit and L is in dreamland? I watch a lot of CourtTV so I think my thoughts on someone coming to my house and picking me up for a date have changed. :)
Tell us how it goes...
Yash, LOL on the courtTV...I'm a crime drama addict so I hear ya on that.
update: After talking with my acquaintence, we will be doing a dinner date in which she and her daughter (both work at the University) introduce us.
Should be interesting. He's a little older than me, a widower, and has 2 girls end of the teenage spectrum. Whatever happens, I anticipate a fun evening no matter what. I enjoy outings like these....talking, meeting people etc.
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I haven't BTDT. Sounds like a nice evening is planned. Other ideas are for doing things on the weekends like park settings, the zoo, arboretum, hiking, etc. Introduce the person as a friend only. If anything were to progress to a relationship of dating, do not include the kids in that. It's fun to do the zoo with other people, but when it comes to working on establishing a relationship, the kids need to not be in the picture so they don't get confused, attached etc due to the uncertainties of dating. Have fun!!
Fe2002
A teeny bit...
I'm not sure if I explained that well, the guy I was dating didn't understand either... :) It did hurt his feelings, and I WAS sorry... but I just thought it was inappropriate.
I totally understand and think you were right on!
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