advice from those who brought along their other children

We left our bio son (age 11 at the time) at home for the bonding period. It was torture being away from him, but we could not have done it any other way. The bonding period was much too intense. We stayed for one long trip (7 weeks). Our bio son joined us in Poland (with Grandma) for the last 3 weeks only. I think the timing was perfect for our personal situation.I do know there are a few families who brought their other children along during the bonding. Hopefully they will chime in. In general, agencies do not recommend it, and some judges will flat out not allow it. You will have to advocate very strongly that it is a good idea. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.sarah[url=http://notesfrombungalow6.blogspot.com/]based on a true story...[/url]

We have not traveled yet but we do plan on taking our daughter with us when we do travel. Our agency has okayed her going and said that it will be allowed.

We felt the same. There was no way we were leaving any of our children on the other side of the Atlantic for a moment longer than absolutely necessary. We took one trip, and stayed the duration. While our facilitator gave us a lot of bad advice and false factsђ, I will give her this - she told us that we were not allowed to have our existing children with us for the first 10 days. We later found out that was not true. However our (biological) daughters were much better off NOT there for those first days. (I can֒t believe Im saying this, but itҒs true.) Our first 24 hours in Poland were used to pull off the complete 180 made necessary by the time difference and to stock our apartment. The next week was a blur, requiring every shred of energy to manage meetings, court dates, visits, survive erratic sleep, not to mention a sinus infection. Our daily schedule was eat, morning visit with the boys, back to the apartment, recover from the visit, eat, afternoon visit with the boys, grocery store, recover from the visit, eat, journal, sleep. Im no wimp, but there was ZERO left that would have been needed to help the girls shift sleep cycles, endure the boys, (they were like twin Tasmanian devils on crack when we first met them) adjust to a new country, and just plain attend to their needs. And theyҒre very capable, flexible, and obedient girls, 9 and 11 at the time. We departed AZ, flew to FL, dropped the girls off with Babcia and Dziadek (my in-laws), and left for Poland the next morning. My in-laws then brought the girls to Poland and delivered them to us about 10 days later. During the second court appearance, our driver took the boys and the girls out for juice cocktails and a pastry. The six of us (Mr Perfect, myself, 2 daughters and new sons) spent the rest of the duration traveling around Poland. By then the girls were acclimated to the time change, and we were settled enough with the boys that there was a few minutes here and there to spend on the girls.

For both of our bonding periods, we were required to bring along our other children. The thought from our judges was that we needed to bond as a family. We were in two totally different districts so it had nothing to do with a specific regions laws/rules. Our judges asked specific questions during our court time concerning how well the kids related to each other, in addition to how the bonding with us parents was going. Our first adoption occurred in the summer so we took our bio son with us for the entire 7 week timeframe. Our second adoption was during the fall and schooltime. So, we brought our boys along for the bonding period but flew them home to get back into school once the bonding period was over. If it wasn't for school, we would have kept them with us the entire time. In addition to the bonding experience, it was just a good experience for my kids to see another culture outside of the US. Heather

I can understand both viewpoints. Our son (6) with us and it was difficult - but I think the right decision for us. First, our son is used to traveling internationally so that piece didn't phase him. We dealt with the jetlag issues by making sure we stayed one day in Warsaw before getting on a train to go to the orphanage. We didn't do that on our first trip and we were exhausted, so when we went back for our two months of bonding we went a day early. This enabled him to sleep when we got there and readjust. It was very important to our orphanage director and judge that the kids got along and were bonding. We were never told it wasn't possible, in fact it was always encouraged. We were asked about how our son was doing throughout the process and the people at the orphanage always tried to make him feel special and important. Was it exhausting and tiring, yes. My dh and I thought we would be able to do some work on the side with our internet access at night, during naps, etc. Absolutely nothing got done, but trying to pull our family together. Our daughter had typical transition issues that just makes you shake your head when you think back on it. Our son also decided to try to copy the behavior to see how it would work for him. Painful, painful. However, I think we would have gone through this whether it was here or in Poland. I'm glad we did it when we were both there together to work through it. Getting her to accept him was also an issue. She really didn't want anything to do with him for quite awhile. We needed those two months to help her understand what a family was, that we could love both of them, what a brothers job was, etc. If you bring your kids you have the ability to start that transition. It was also hard because we were in a town where there really wasn't much to do, but we managed.