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I have read lots about international adoption and am flabbergasted. I can't seem to wrap my mind around everything. I look at one site and it says I am eligible for that country and another says I am not. Could you help me narrow it down based on my criteria?
Dh and I have been married for 19 years. Dh is 38 and I am 35. We have 5 bio children ages 14(g), 10(b),8(g),
3(g), and 1(b). We want to have one more child but would rather adopt than have a bio child. We would consider a two sibling group only if both are younger than 7. Still it would take much consideration to take a siblings with our preference being a single infant.
We are not rich by any means but live comfortable and are sure we can take on the additional responsibities. However, the expense of adoption is a conscern. For this reason, we will need to choose one of the lesser expensive places to adopt.
When choosing countries, South America would be our first choice. (Before we married, dh and I went on summer mission trips, seperately, to Nicaragua, Costa Rica, and Honduras.) We are open to any country/areas other than Eastern Europe. Even thogh we are caucasian, we prefer another race. Haiti, India, and Ethiopia are high on our list.
Another issue is traveling. We are very open to traveling to the country but it cannot be extended stays keeping it closer to or under a week. Dh's job wouldn't allow it and we would travel as a family. ( I homeschool so missing school isn't an issue.) I realize this would increase the cost but it would be worth it.
Lastly, we were foster parents for a year to two boys. We were fostering through our state and decided we couldn't continue after the boys were given back to their dad. He never once passed a drug test and even signed a paper stating he would never give up his kids or his drugs. The mom tried to "straighten out" but always went back to drugs. At the end, she ended up doing something that landed her with a couple of years in jail. No other family members came foward since this was the third time these boys were placed in the system and sadly there was another sibling, different father, in the system too. After a hard year of loving and caring for those boys, we just couldn't do it again with as flawed as our system is.
Now that you have read all that, do you have any recommendations?
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Haiti has reopened for adoption, after its disaster, and you appear to meet the country's requirements to adopt. However, remember that individual agencies and orphanages may have additional requirements, with regard to religion, number of children currently at home, etc. Just be very careful to select an agency in the U.S. that complies with Haitian and U.S. laws regarding the eligibility of a child for adoption and immigration, and that will not try to rush a child out of the country before it is very clear that he/she is orphaned, abandoned, or legally relinquished. It is likely, but not certain, that travel would be brief.
India has a Hague-compliant adoption system. It is open to people who are not of Indian heritage, though many non-Indians report difficulty in finding an agency that will accept them. The wait for a child also tends to be longer for non-Indians, since India works hard to find children homes domestically or with overseas Indian families before allowing them to be placed with non-Indians in other countries. You may find it easier to adopt from India if you are open to a school aged child, a child with special needs, or a sibling group. With Indian adoption, you must work with a U.S. agency that is both approved by CARA, the branch of the Indian government that oversees adoptions, and accredited by the State Department to do Hague adoptions. Travel should be relatively brief. I have heard one agency state that no family with more than three children already in the home will be accepted, but it is not clear whether this is really a country rule or whether it is agency or orphanage specific. Another agency says that families with more than one child in the home are rarely accepted; however, again, that may be specific to the agency or orphanage.
Ethiopia is traditionally liberal in its requirements for prospective parents, and you appear eligible to adopt under the country's laws; however, individual orphanages and agencies may have additional requirements for families. Be aware that the U.S. and Ethiopian governments are concerned, at this time, about reports of unethical adoptions and adoption agencies. There is a risk that the U.S. government COULD deny a visa to a child who was found to be improperly procured, even if the Ethiopian government has already finalized the child's adoption, so it is important to work only with agencies that are known for highly ethical adoption practices. Two trips, each of a week or so, are required, as a result of recent changes that the country has made.
Many Latin American countries are just beginning to reopen to Americans, now that we have ratified the Hague Convention. As a result, it can be hard to find programs that are well-established and that have a track record in the country.
The one country that is open now and that has been consistently open to Americans is Colombia, but it gives preference to young families, and fairly extensive travel time may be necessary. Latin countries have historically tended to require very long in country stays (sometimes up to two months), and also tended to give preference to families who are childless or have just one or two children.
Costa Rica initially sounded like a possibility, although the one agency that I know, which is currently working there, has a pilot program and advises families that there are many uncertainties in such startups. It is very open on age, length of marriage, and so on. However, travel could be six weeks. This agency also works in Ecuador, which requires an 8 week stay, although one parent can return home after four weeks.
Brazil also sounded like an interesting possibility, especially for families open to a child of school age, and especially to a child of African heritage. Unfortunately, the in-country stay is likely to be four to six weeks.
Sharon
We are also thinking about adopting from Haiti. We would not begin until next year. We have the orphanage picked out (my FIL does mission work with an orphanage there) but have not even thought about a child yet, although we would prefer a girl under the age of 5. Anyway, we are interested in any info we can find. I have read the us gov site on Haiti adoption. I would love to exchange stories with anyone persueing adoption in Haiti.
Haitian law allows families meeting the following criteria to adopt:
married couples with at least one parent age 35 or older and
ten years of marriage
families may have any number of biological and adopted children provided they can provide for the new adopted child(ren)
OR
married couples with at least one parent age 35 or older and
ten years of marriage or seven years of marriage and a minimum of three years cohabitation and
no biological children (of both parents)