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I'm working on a chapter for a marriage and family counselor text book on adoption & I'm now creating some "real life" narratives related to adoption. Counselor need to know what it's like from an adoptive family experience. This can be anonymous, but we are looking for authentic experiences/advice
So if adoption has been a part of your life at all:
What are some of the issues your family might face that would result in you seeking counseling or support?
If you have worked with a counselor before, what did that person do well that helped you feel heard or understood?
If you have worked with a counselor before, are there any things that did not go well or that you wished had gone better?
For new counselors in training, what do you suggest they know about families like yours in order to serve or understand you better?
What aspects of your personal story would you like to share or do you feel would be helpful for bringing voice to your type of family?
~Thank you. Any help would be highly vauled.
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I'd suggest including materials from the books, "20 Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Parents Knew" and "The Colour of Difference: Journeys in Transracial Adoption". ICASN's web site also has TONS of resources and writings by intercountry adopted people [url=http://www.icasn.org/resources.html]RESOURCES[/url] What I found most useful was my counsellors' ability to empathize and their openness to my suggested adoption-related readings. My main advice for counselors is that they lobby for adoption information to be included as a main part of counselling training curriculum. Adoption-triad relations are encountered in 20% of the USA population alone, given that 2% of Americans are adopted.
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counsellors need to know that adoptive families should tell the truth. The whole truth and not withhold information.
I knew I was adopted from the time I knew anything. My adoptive parents split up after years of fighting when I was four.
I searched my whole life for my birth parents who were known to my adopted mother. It sickened me that she knew and did not tell me out of fear I suppose that somehow she would be replaced.
I lost a lot of time. But things happen they way they do for a reason.
Kids remember far more than people think. I remember being in the crib back as far as a toddler.
I used to visit the house where my birth mother stayed with an aunt when I was child. I knew there were "secrets" there. I could pick up on the emotions I suppose. I was drawn to a room my birth mother slept in.
They all tried to keep things under wraps but I knew. I finally found out the real story. The lady who owned the house was my mother's aunt. Her daughter was a complete twit. I called her before I met my parents and she said "Your mother and father have a life of their own". As if I wasn't a part of it.
Ridiculous and callous. No compassion or understanding. She was self righteous and I hope to God she regrets those words.
The child has a right to know. The adopted parents are only creating more resentment if they hide things from the child.