Hospital Not Supportive of Adoptive Breastfeeding

:popcorn Watching

:popcorn Watching to see what is said for future reference.

OK. This has become a problem for me too. The hospital will not cup feed or finger feed the baby. And our Agency does not let you see the baby before the papers are signed 72 hours after birth. They also will not let amoms breastfeed if the baby has to stay in the hospital longer than the 72 hours... like in the nicu. My lactation consultant says that a few days from the breast is not irreversible. You might just have to work harder to get lo accustomed to taking the boob and not a bottle. But it will not ruin him/her. My lactation consultant also said that if it is in the first 3 days you can ask that they feed the baby very little. That the newborns stomach is the size of a walnut (or some other small nut or fruit.. .cant remember). So they dont need excessive amounts of food. That way the baby doesnt get to addicted to the bottle.:moped:

I thought I'd give some thoughts on this since it's a year old and I have thought about it more since I first posted.Personally, I think it is inappropriate for a prospective amom to breastfeed before TPR is signed, unless the baby's mother agrees and wants it to happen. Were we to be in a match again, I'd prefer that the baby's mother breastfeed (if she was comfortable of course). The baby gets bonding time with his/her mother and also gets the benefits of colostrum. Some women might not want to breastfeed then sign adoption papers, and that's fine too. I would definitely not try to push that on someone. But I would be totally fine in an adoption situation where the birth mother did breastfeed.As for after TPR is signed, the only thing I can think of that can allow an agency to make decisions about breastfeeding is that technically (at least in our case) the agency held custody of the child until finalization. So I guess I can see how they would be able to say "You can't breastfeed if baby is still in the hospital" But even that to me is a really big grey area.Sol, if I were you, I wouldn't worry about it. I would spend the time baby is in the hospital just pumping and building up your supply. Then when you get home you can try to tackle breastfeeding without the pressure of the hospital staff or agency staff not approving.I'd also like to say that when reading my OP, I think I was totally wrong to think it was ok to ask emom to deliver at a different hospital so that I could breastfeed easier. I'm getting ready to deliver my second baby and I'd be totally peeved if someone asked me to pick a different hospital to make something easier for them. I think it was disrespectful for our agency to suggest such a thing, and shame on me for being ok with it.

Thank you for your perspective on this! You are right. We would only have to wait 3 days before we would have custody of the child. And if the she is ruined for the breast... To be honest its not the end of the world. I appreciate your thoughts after going through the process. -Sol

Please try not to worry! There can be advantages to having your baby not get any bottles, but bottles are really highly unlikely to make the difference between breastfeeding and not breastfeeding, especially if it is just a matter of a few days or weeks. Babies usually don't actually refuse the breast unless they have been on bottles for months and, even then, there are things that can be done to help them learn to nurse. One thing that happens when they get used to bottles is that they learn to expect milk from the first suck. If you are using a Lact-Aid or SNS, that takes care of that problem. If you happen to be producing enough milk that you don't think you need to supplement, you can just express a little before latching the baby. That way, the baby can also smell the milk, which will cue him in that it is where there is food.The biggest problem I have seen from them having been on bottles for a while is that they don't open up very wide. If you can talk to the birth mom, perhaps you can suggest that she try to see that whoever feeds the baby can tickle his lips and wait for him to open his mouth before letting him have it, rather than just poking it into his mouth. If they don't open up very well, there are things you can do to help. My fifth child was on bottles and a teeny tiny pacifier for 15 days when I got him. He had a tiny mouth, too. The first few weeks were a challenge but, fortunately, I knew that it would be worth going through some sore nipples for a while. I just had to get him on as well as I could, and was thankful for the Lact-Aid. After a while, his mouth grew a little bit and he learned to open better and then my milk supply finally started improving. He nursed until he was 25 months old.I agree with Sarah, that it is generally better for adoptive mothers not to try to breastfeed before the relinquishment has been signed (in places where that takes only a few days, anyway). I believe the birth moms need to be able to make their final decision of whether to place or parent without feeling any pressure from anyone, and I would worry that having the adoptive mother there, and breastfeeding, might make her feel pressure to go through with the adoption even if she is not sure about it. She has to live with the consequences of her decision for the rest of her life. Of course, if the birth mother specifically requests that the amom start breastfeeding right away, it might be different. Even so, if the hospital staff is ornery about it, it might be just as well to wait until the baby is released from the hospital. I am not sure, but I don't think most hospitals have an actual policy on adoptive moms breastfeeding. It is not something they see very often. If someone knows of one that does, I would like to see what it says. I think, in many cases, what happens is that whoever happens to be on duty at the hospital at the time just does whatever they want to. I know of cases where the hospital staff has been wonderfully supportive and helpful and some where they have tried to keep the adoptive parents from even seeing the baby while it's in the hospital. I think it is good to be cautious, if you think they are going to fight you on it. Try to keep a positive attitude about breastfeeding! You can do it! It might take a little practice, but it is entirely doable! I hope this makes sense. It is 2:00 AM.Noelaninoelani54@hotmail.com

Reading some of these posts has made me feel more at ease with some of my worries as I consider BF, thank you!