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Ok, I had first contact from B-son last weekend. To give myself some time to think, I sent a graduation card with a short note and some photos. I got another letter today with a lot of pictures (he's amazing - he looks a LOT like my dad who passed away 2 years ago - both wonderful and sad) and an invitation to his graduation party! Panic!
I'm pretty sure I'm not ready to meet his entire family and his friends all in one shot in less than a month. I'm thinking of suggesting that we meet first and then decide together whether I should go. It would be a great opportunity to really see his life before it changes completely, but it's a LOT scary. Any advice???
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Fast or what? Not to put a damper on anything but I think your gut is right. Meet first. You have no idea of what his family dynamics are or what you would be walking into - you have to also consider yourself in this picture. I am more of a slow and easy. Perhaps a compromise of meet before grad so you can make a decision about the grad? But realize YOU have rights in this just like your son...it is not one sided...if it is right it is right - if not then adjust accordingly. Take care,Dickons
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I think you're right! He's probably just excited, proud he's graduating, and wanted you to be included. All good things. He most likely wasn't considering what it would be like for either one of you. If' you're comfortable meeting before the graduation, by all means. If you still need some time to digest everything, then take your time.
I think I agree with both of you. I don't want to miss anything significant, but I don't want to go too fast and cause problems. I was kind of assuming that his family knew about this invite, but I guess I can't really be sure. Wouldn't that be appalling to show up to a party where I'm not expected? Yikes. Plus, I tend to cry when I'm emotional and I'm not sure I want to do that in front of a bunch of strangers... I definitely want to meet him before deciding about the party.
Yes, it's wonderful for him to be so open and enthusiastic. I have to remember to be the adult and make sure this doesn't get out of hand and go too fast.