To Bmoms in semi-OAs, what do you want in an update?

I'm in a fully open OA on child I placed, but still there are things I completely cherish and others I could do without. When I hear stories or information that let's me know that even when I'm not physically there they still talk about me, bring me in to J's life. For instance on one visit M (one of my son's adads) said in normal conversation "We totally think J looks just like C(C is my brother, I had mentioned his name and sent a picture of my whole family once by email). The fact they had talked about it, openly, and remembered my brothers name, well I knew who I was would be represented to my son and that meant so much. The other thing that means a lot is when they tell me the day to day accomplishments that happen to my son. Maybe it's that he found his foot today, or tried to crawl and did a face plant, or when he's older it will be letting me know the first time he writes his name or finishes his 9x tables. Simple things, but things I'm not a part of and hearing about them are really amazing. For me I don't need to hear how people complement his blue eyes, or how beautiful he is, or how much they love him, all those things are obvious to me, I know all that, but it's the little things, feeling like I'm in insider in his life than just like anyone else on the street. I hope that helps. In general the fact you care about what is written, you're on the right path.

I love getting not just facts ("Cupcake is X inches tall" or "Cupcake started a new preschool last week") but the stories. Think of the things about F that you share with your Mom, your sister, your best friend - something adorable that she did, something hysterical that she said, even something that annoyed you at the time but you have to look back and laugh because she's so precious! It's those stories that account for her personality and who she is, not just what she's doing, that are so wonderful, kwim? The worst update I got was literally a couple of sentences with vague information. Cupcake likes this. Cupcake's favorite book is this. Not that the info isn't great to have, it is, but the stories are just amazing. So I admit that I like to have both :) Hope this helps a little and feel free to ask more questions! (Oh, and as for pictures? ANY AND ALL!!! Preferably though with Cupcake featured prominently :))

Thank you so much for the replies. That helps a lot. I'm really hearing that it's the little things that are important. Not just that she's on grade level and healthy, but that she checks on the progress of snails each morning on her way to the car and feels fanciest with her hair in braid loops.I appreciate you both sharing your thoughts. Thanks again.

Katrina, I apologize for not seeing your thread earlier. I don't know how I missed it!I relinquished during the Closed Era, but my son's parents opened it up a bit during his early teen years. When he was about 14, they started sending me photos and updates a couple times a year.The things that really stand out in my memory are the small things that told me who my son was and what he was like as a child. I loved it when his parents told me he was a huge cat lover. They told me the name of his kitty and sent me a picture of the two of them together. In the pic, my son has a cast on his arm, and his mom wrote on the back that he had gotten a bit rambunctious while playing soccer. Another neat thing she told me was how my son adored his maternal grandmother...how she taught him to bake, how he spent summers with her, and how he was her baker's assistant (his grandma made wedding cakes professionally.) They sent me a really cute photo of DS in the kitchen with his grandma, his face all dusted with flour.When my son was small, his parents used to take him to the photo studio around Christmas time...and I just adore those photos, with all the holiday decorations. I also treasure the photos of him at school ceremonies and getting awards.After we all reunited with each other when DS turned 18, his parents told me so many wonderful stories of what he had been like as a toddler and young child. They also gave me a copy of an audiotape they made of him when he learned his ABC's, singing the Alphabet Song. That is one of my most treasured possessions. :loveyou:

I'm getting excited just reading those tidbits about YOUR kid! :D So yes, I'd have to say that it's those little things that amaze me the most to learn about my daughter.

Thanks again, everyone. I'll be working on my first update now, and hoping F's mom will enjoy it. I really appreciate your feedback.