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Seriously!
I don't know what to do anymore.
Some of you may remember that she sent an extremely nasty message to me in FB right before he came to visit me.
She 'apologised' sort of, after he freaked out and told her she was inappropriate.
Since then I've been really struggling on how to deal with her, especially in FB.
I started by just blocking her from seeing my status updates and some of my photo albums.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, her other daughter-in-law friended me in FB. Apparently, as she said to my son's stepmom, I'm family now and she wants to treat me as such.
Almost immediately afterwards, my son messages me with some stuff about how it doesn't matter what I wear to the wedding as I am just a 'normal' guest. Apparently, I'd been asking too many questions while trying to find out what's appropriate (I've honestly not been to too many weddings and don't know how hard it is going to be find something appropriate in Sweden).
When I asked if he'd been getting grief, he dodged the question.
I sent him and his fiancee a reassuring message saying that we only wanted to be 'normal' guests. That it meant a lot to me to be there, but we absolutely did not want to cause any fuss or bother, we just wanted to sit in a corner and watch...(well that's the upshot).
A couple of days ago I hear through stepmom that apparently the fact that I comment on d-i-l's FB (she has kids my kids ages about) was REALLY annoying amom. Ugh. Yesterday I noticed she had unfriended me!
(amom, not d-i-l)
So....I've now blocked her. I'm tired of her 'spying' on me. I'm tired of watching every single word and wondering if it's going to set her off.
And I feel a bit ill, because I'm really hoping that there won't be any fall out from this.
My goodness it all feels so freaking HIGHSCHOOL, doesn't it???
What the heck?
I'm tired of her actions making me feel ill though. :-(
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Oh, I would definitely not avoid the reception! Andy wants you there. If you didn't show for that, I think he would be upset. His mom is the one with the issues, but if you keep a low profile, which is what you planned to do regardless, you should be fine. Now, I don't think that will stop his mom from being petty and stirring up some kind of drama. Just be prepared to ignore her. Excuse yourself and walk away if need be, but whatever you do, don't take the bait. My guess is she will try to get some verbal digs in. She seems that petty. Just hit the "ignore" button over and over (and have a few stiff drinks if need be!)
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Geez...really? Unfriended you because you basically asked what color to avoid at the wedding? I think you should wear red then cuz I bet you 10-1 she will hate that.:evilgrin:
I guess what I've never gotten through all of what you have shared is why the heck she can't get past things enough to wake up and realize "this is my kid who wants this". If anything, she should be showing him how welcomed you are if she really is that insecure and needs to have him somehow validate her role. (which she shouldn't need, mind you, but kwim??)
I agree blocking her is best. No need for toxicity, imo!
Yeee HAW! That could make it fun! hahaha
Thanks so much for everyone's support here. I've been especially appreciating opinions from amoms, because sometimes I wonder if I'm imagining this crazyness, you know? And I didn't know if amoms would give me a different perspective to show she is NOT that crazy, but, she is! LOL
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You should wear something totally crazy since "it doesn't matter what you wear" and no one has actually given you any advice on the dress, they only just went into a tizzy because you -GASP!- asked for advice on a dress! And weddings do vary greatly on the type of dress expected-- I've been at ones where shorts and sandals were abundant and ones where everyone was in long formal gowns- neither of which was indicated on the invitation.
I've been told, "Oh I don't know, just an outifit" by a date and showed up and it was a formal occasion. (Thanks, dude) And more recently packed simple casual dresses and slacks for a missionary wedding in rural Honduras (as all of us US guests did) only to get there and find out it was a 2-day formal extravaganza and my uber-natural friend of almost 20 yrs was done up fancy from head to toe the whole time! Oops.
Obviously, your questions about dress were interpreted as "questions about your place in the wedding cleverly disguised as questions about your dress." Really- you just want to know what to wear! It's a totally appropriate question since you don't really know how their family handles occasions like this and everyone- EVERYONE- handles wedding dress completely differently.
I vote for tie-died palazzo pants with a rainbow tube top. Make sure your hair is a rad color too. ;) Okay, maybe not reeeeally, but it's fun to think about showing up like that and being like "What? I thought it didn't matter, so I just wore what I had." :eyebrows:
I was thinking of M.C. Hammer pants myself, but what if it IS more formal and she should be wearing a dress? Maybe a skin tight leopard mini?;) Oh...wait! WAIT! She can't do that - people will have their "bmom is a loose woman" fears confirmed. Better to do an Amish dress instead I think? Maybe Kathy can get her one next time she's out on a call.:p
Or heck Heidi...you aren't that far now! You could pick out the whole ensemble for Q and be her stylist!!!! :clap:
CPGJA
If you want some backup, just say the word. I'm sure we can get an a.com posse together and be there in a heartbeat. :cowboy: Chrissy
crick
Maybe a skin tight leopard mini?;) Oh...wait! WAIT! She can't do that - people will have their "bmom is a loose woman" fears confirmed.
Or heck Heidi...you aren't that far now! You could pick out the whole ensemble for Q and be her stylist!!!! :clap:
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Or heck Heidi...you aren't that far now! You could pick out the whole ensemble for Q and be her stylist!!!!
Oh yes, go with the crack pipe for sure!
And maybe a feathered roach clip in your hair
I have a pair of black 5" heel thigh high "hooker boots" you could borrow - keep LOL Would go great with the leapord mini.
Beware tho, if you have someone with you like my husband, you might not make it to the wedding on time, or might get caught doing the naughty in a back room! Now wouldn't that give them something to talk about :)
Sometimes it can be fun attempting to deal with crazy people.
My guys say they like it when their mom wears light blue.
Regardless of what you wear i hope you enjoy the day Quantum:flower:
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