a little of my story

I have 3 daughters, my oldest is my adopted stepdaughter from my husbands first marriage. I started dating my husband when dd turned 1 in 2004, I married dh and dd in 2006, I adopted dd in 2008. Biomom left dd and dh when dd was 6 months and came back to dd on her 1 b-day; when dh started dating me. Biomom had regualar visitations as agreed in the divorce. (Divorce wasn't ugly biomom and dh agreed on everything) *dh hubby lived 2 houses from biomom until 2006 when we bought our house on the other side of town* Biomom sent us an email begining of 2008 saying that she gives up and wants us to drawl up adoption paperwork. DH and I both asked biomom to talk to us before going the our laywer and biomom said that she had no other choice and there was nothing to talk about. Sept. 2008 the adoption was finalized, during the adoption process I asked biomom to talk to me about having contact after the adoption and I got was I'm thinking about it. The only thing biomom asked us was if the child support be dropped!?! Really? How is one suppose to think; the only thing biomom wanted to talk about was the back support and not dd. DH made the decision since biomom didn't want to talk to us about dd than there'll be no contact between the 2, because he felt that biomom wasn't trying and didn't care about dd cause in his eyes; she walked away again. Biomom wasn't losing her house or becoming homless. Biomom was paying child support as agreed in the divorce; which was to pay dh instead of the court. After 3 years of not paying dh turned biomom into the court and biomom got her paychecks garnished. (To me that seemed easier they didn't have to worrie about it and the courts did their thing) *More but I don't know the turth and dont want to bash* But biomom never stayed every long at a job. Feb. this year I felt that it would help dd (she's pissed and acting out; screaming for up to 4 hours a night) if her and biomom had email contact. I contacted biomom *email* asking if this would be ok. Biomom said yes it would be great. *no boundries were talked about nor anything else talked about* DD would send biomom an email with me helping cause she's 7 and there was some personal household things that I felt biomom didn't need to kow so it was edited out. Biomom would respond in about 2-3 weeks later. A couple of months ago dd asked if she could see biomom and halfsister. So I asked biomom if we could have a playdate at the park. Biomom said yes, we had 2 playdates. Biomom had another baby with dh cousin this year and posted dd as a sibling *dd was not listed as a sibling to the daughter born in 2006 and that was 2 years before the adoption* this really upset me ALOT. I acted on my emotions and did things I shouldn't of. I got on a forum and asked if the bioparent had the right to post a childs name as a sibling after the child was adopted; I never went to biomom and asked her why she did it. I see that it was very childish for what I did but I wanted to know others opinions and this is when the new boyfriend started yelling at me again. Telling me that I need to think of all who is involved and that dd is biomoms daughter and she has evey right to list dd as a sibling. This arugment got more and more intense and I just blurted out that there will be no more contact between biomom and dd to the boyfriend, I than talked to biomom and she kept telling me that dd is her daughter and she had every right to list dd's name because she is a half sibling and dd is her daughter and I need to get over it and respect that. *I'm dd's adoptive mom and biomom needs to respect that, I feel that I don't get respected for that* **I think I'm caught up to the 2 posts that are on here now; if I'm missing something please ask**