Start up worries

We've not adopted from China; but we have adopted babies from Korea, Japan and several from the USA. Our two babies adopted from Asian countries are now grown and on their own. My dh and I decided in our mid-forties to go back to infant adoptions and eventually, over the last 7yrs, we've privately adopted four babies. If you're really set on adopting from China, you may have some 'homework' ahead of you regarding any agencies that will do your homestudy. I know when we considered international adoption---again......the requirements for many of the countries were very tough. Some countries have weight limits of each parent, age differences, financial conditions--- that to me---are extreme in many ways. I believe you'll also find that some countries may not even 'talk' to you because of your ages. (This is something that irritates me to no end, but it's true.) Certainly, hoping to adopt older children will be in your favor. Though, you need to realize that no matter where you adopt from, adopting older children can often (truly---more than often) be more challenging than the adoption of any infant. Older children have issues over and above those of 'just being older'. My suggestion might be to consider adopting domestically. Many US agencies---dealing with domestic infant adoptions--- are now more enlightened regarding older parents and will accept them without much hesitation. And, if you're still seriously considering the adoption of older children.....the foster care system allows for this with an abundance of older children and sibling groups. Also, keep in mind that should an older child have issues warranting mental health resources, internationally adopted children often have a much harder time accessing those services. However, children adopted from foster care can have an easier time in achieving those 'helps'. As far as any meds/counseling you're involved with....most agencies are accepting of this as long as any therapist/medical doctor will sign documents attesting to stability in parenting, etc. The issues of your bio children will probably not have a lot of influence, given that they're now either adults or nearly so, and making their own choices. Please feel free to pm me if you'd like. Sincerely, Linny

What I'm finding is that some agencies are acting like certain things are insurmountable, other agencies act like those things aren't a big deal -- but some other fact is. And then I've found a couple of agencies whose attitude has been that there are countries that would be a good fit for us and our circumstances. We actually do have a lot to offer a child/children, but I want to be upfront about any issues rather than being disappointed later. Thanks for the feedback :)

Nester, You sound like a good candidate for the china special child program. There are about 2000 kids on the list awaiting homes now, and many older kids 3-14 available. Once they turn 14 they are no longer available for adoption are turned out to fend for themselves ( for most of them anyways). Your ages are good, I don't think the issues your kids had as minors should enter into it at all, and they are not living in the home, hence don't really factor into the homestudy process etc...unless you talk about it in depth. No-one has perfect kids. I will get back to you with the yahoo group that you can join to learn about and see the kids that have been waiting for their forever families for years ( or months) depending upon the kids. oops didn't mean to hit post yet.... I do think your husbands 3 prior marriages 'could be a problem" can't remember that rule. Best of Luck, zinnia

The central authority for adoption in China (CCAA) is the deciding factor on who can adopt. The eligibility requirements that will likely prevent you from adopting from China are: - Current diagnosis of depression or anxiety or currently on medication for depression or anxiety. If you were previously diagnosed with depression or anxiety, you must be off medication and recovered for at least 2 years. - Couples where one or both spouses have 3 or more divorces are not eligible. While I realize that China was certainly your first choice, there are many other countries which may still be available to you. Adoption via the foster care system in the U.S. would be a good option, especially since you are interested in an older child adoption. If you would prefer to adopt internationally, you might want to look into adoption from Ethiopia, Colombia, Costa Rica, Bulgaria and the Democratic Republic of Congo. My husband and I discovered that some countries were out of the question for us either to my husband's BMI, diagnosis of clinical depression or our age (45 and 46 at the time we began our adoptions). We were not eligible to adopt from China, Russia, Tawain, or Korea. However, our research and persistence led us to our two beautiful girls, one from Guatemala and one from Ethiopia. Best of luck to you and your husband on your adoption journey.

I really don't know much about international adoptions but I wish you good luck on your plans!