Maybe I am just in a bad mood

Well now you why her kids are "intact" -- if they hadn't been she'd have sent them back! I think that everyone on the thread basically called her on her post. I'm in a bad mood too... We had a congregational meeting after church today... as usual it's pastor's fault that attendence has gone down (given the timing, they decided they didn't like me before they met me). It never ceases to amaze me that congregations never want to look at themselves (as in maybe I could increase my giving)... it's always someone elses problem and we want someone else to solve it. (uh... don't even mention tithing)

It isn't you. It is her. Her posts yesterday caught my eye enough that I read them all wondering if she was for real. Her IP address doesn't match anyone elses but I kept wondering if she was a 'reincarnation' of someone who was banned. Most people don't come in with that much attitude!

Condescending and rude to say the least. All she would have to do is look at the number of posts Pez has to see she isn't a newbie like herself. Luckily others have said enough to put her in her place already. Kathy- my brother has been a pastor and the stories of how everything is his fault never cease to amaze me. He's now a Chaplin at the state pen in Carson City, NV. In the big house now!

Oh, another know it all? Wonderrrrrrrful! I think those on the thread did a good job of letting her know she shouldn't be so quick to judge and assume. While she is correct in that the education for RAD is not as good as it should be, she needed to take a minute to not assume & certainly soften her tone. I'm wondering personally if she isn't from another support group for RAD etc. and is familiar enough to come out "swinging". "Intact"...wow.

yeah, that "intact" sort of flies in the face of the idea that adoption is made through loss and all that and therefore are not "intact" doe to loss. And just because I'm like this, I have half a mind( only half, mind you) to challenge her on the "intact" issue.:D

Well, remember she said they were the most intact the social worker had seen when they came to her, so to me that does not say RAD. I have never heard a RAD parent call thier kids intact. I don't "recognize" her from any of the other support groups for RAD I am in. I think I would remember the four kids at once since that is less common, and as Crick knows, a little crazy (sorry couldn't resist) but add to that being single, less unusual, but still not quite the norm, and then add homeschooling. Very few single parents can afford to homeschool. They would need a very good support network, since daycares mostly don't take school age kids during the school day or work from home, but even that would be very difficult with four kids. Anyway, I think I would remember that combination of factors in one person. But, then I am not a member of very many RAD support groups and I recently dropped one of the big ones (it got too expensive) I was glad to see so many other members jump to Pez's defense. I do admit that calling the child "it" really set me off.

Good points there...single mom adopting a sibling group of 4, homeschool, RAD...hmmm... Might be interesting to ask her about that. "I hate to assume this but in what universe does a social worker allow a single mom to adopt a sibling group of four kids? I mean, did they even know how difficult it is for even a married couple to handle four, much less with RAD?";) I'm not crazy. Just a little nutter is all. LOL!

Gee I understood her to say she would never adopt RAD children, that she would turn down the opportunity.

some of what she is saying is dead on....but her approach is so horrible no one is going to listen anyway. what my little then 48 pound daughter was capable of was mind blowing. she did almost ruin my marriage, my family, my life. i allowed her to destroy my career, and nearly my sanity. she is still....not an "it."

Totally, RAD is the hardest thing I have ever lived (am living) though. My marriage is good, my house has seen better days and my health is not so hot. It is amazing what these kids can do. I don't dispute that at all. Some days I am not so sure my sanity is in tact. But, yeah, my kid is still not an it. He may be a coniving little toot, a liar, a theif and a vandal, but not an it, LOL.