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I have seen several threads (both in kinship and foster/adopt) regarding people who are trying keep an open lines with substance abusing BPs.
The fine line of connection vs enabling is a tough one.
I wanted to start a general support thread. Those of you who are making this work, please share tips, words of wisdom
Those of you struggling - please feel free to share.
For those of you who closed an adoption due to addiction - what was the process like? Hows everyone now
And for you lucky ones with BPs in recovery, when did you begin to trust them? When did the kids regain their trust?
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This is exactly where I am at ... and my kids are still young but at the brink of understanding and I am stuggling with explaining to little ones who their bio mom is to them, and how to support and maintain that relationship while still being honest (and protecting them) about the addiction issues. We have the added reality that the girls were in foster care first, and all the reasons why that happened vs. being placed for adoption at birth.
Our current issues are more around the unpredictability of visits. I am learning slowly that no matter how many times she confirms a visit, unless she calls me 15 minutes before she is supposed to arrive, she probably wont show up.
I also have the added issue that my older children (2 were also adopted from foster care) cannot STAND the youngers' biological parent due to the addiction, instability issues etc and greatly resent that she has any involvement with "THEIR SISTERS".
It is more confusing and difficult in reality than I had imagined especially as we get through these first years of establishing good boundaries and patterns of contact.
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