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Our story:
Almost 17 years ago, at 20, I was in all sense of the word a single mom (still involved with the abusive father on and off) with a 1 year old special needs child and pregnant. My son is affected by cerebral palsy with visual impairments and other issues. I knew what kind of support I had from my parents and the father..basically none and by no means was is getting any better. I kept my pregnancy hidden from everyone!!! Well, except my doctor, a very special lady who I had met a year earlier, the afamily, the adoption caseworker, and the father (eventhough, I was adamant that I did not know who the father wasŅ.I did share the fathers information with the afamily). An adoption would not be successful in my area if I named the father and he did not sign. The fact is he would not sign҅.EVER! Nor would he ever be a fatherӔ. He wanted me to parent and he could float in and out whenever he wanted.
I was from an alcoholic home, other childhood trauma, involved in an abusive relationship myself, I was a high-school drop-out, no job, no support, and struggling to meet the needs of my little guy..I stress struggling!!!! How could I push a wheelchair and a stroller at the same time? But no matter my circumstance, I loved this baby growing inside me like CRAZY!!
I can still remember walking to my parents in the middle of a snow storm (I live in northern Canada) carrying my son in my arms, pulling a sled holding a big black garbage bag of laundry while 5 months pregnant, hoping my mom would have laundry soap that she would let me use without having to hear œyou know, your gonna need to buy laundry soap every month. I knew that even IF I did share my pregnancy, I would not receive any support or compassion! Strange because my mother herself was pregnant with my older brother at 16 and kicked out of her house. I had compassion for her?
I began contact with my daughterԒs parents 4 months before she was born. We connected, I was open with them, I felt the love and compassion they had for me, my son, and my unborn baby, I knew they would be open with her, tell her that she was wanted, loved, and would allow me to remain in contact with her. I was not living in a box.I was well aware that they had no œlegal obligation to honour an ԓopen-adoption as it was/is not enforceable here. We continued contact with the goal of adoption.
K, thatԒs enough for me, for nowŅI need to fill up my love cupӔ before continuing, not sure how long that will take.lol:woohoo:
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