Select adopt- Trenton???

I was matched through trenton but, had to disrupt, he was way moreten I could handle. Would you have the number down there to the adoption people? I need to ask a question. tia

Hi copswife, Do you have the # for the Trenton adoption unit? We have been on their list since Dec 09 and I want to check that they have all our correct details as I had also requested a change. Our criteria is 0 - 2, so it looks like we'll be even much longer than you. We recently opened our home to foster as well, but we have not enjoyed dealing with the foster unit in Paterson so far. Thanks alot.

Hi Ladies! Here is the number I called: (609) 984-5453. If that number doesn't work, let me know, I have another. I would definitely call just to make sure that your info. is correct and that you are still active. Good luck!-Kate

Thanks for the info!

Thank goodness I called.. found out they don't even have our paperwork in trenton after our resource worker said that they had sent in December 09....so pi##ed off with paterson office.

The Adoption Unit in Trenton actually called ME over the summer to verify the information. But feel free to call them, too. The squeaky wheel and all that.Yes, it is really hard to get a "straight-adoption" child under 4. I get notices all the time to attend matching parties for kids age 7 and up. Those are the ones hardest to get adopted. I wish I could adopt an older child, but right now, I am just not the right mom for that. Maybe when my little one is older.

Yorkshire, Give it time and the case workers and supervisors in that office will all change. There is so much turnover. So if you hate the people there now, in 6 months or so, there will be new ones (perhaps better) to deal with. That agency is like a revolving door.

My homestudy has been w/ Trenton since June 2006. 0-3 range, african american or bi-racial. My HS has been sent out many times but never chosen as a family for consideration. When a child is available they send 4-6 homestudies out for review by the selection board. Only 2 are chosen to come for further review (and only the 2 families are notified as why get folks hopes up). If you call they will tell you if you've ever been submitted for review. I was submitted for a safe haven infant a few months ago but was not selected (turns out the baby was exposed to a health condition that I said I couldn't accept). As for some people getting matched super quick, as with life...it's not always fair:hissy: and it's often who you know.

I just called the number in Trenton and there was a message but the women retired and gave a name of 2 other people to call. So I called my info was all correct and she said my HS has been sent out a few times but I wasn't picked:( ...Well at least I know it is being sent out.

How old was the child?

He was 2 1/2..with severe behavioral issues and most likely very bad FAE. He would't even acknowledge that you were talking to him ever mind liste to what you said. It became a very dangerous issue. I loved him but he needed 24/7 one on one attention.

Actually, they get it down to 3 families and only notify their first choice. We've been through the process 3 times where we were selected and 1 other where we weren't. Always through Trenton. We were licensed in Feb. '07 and despite our RW's insistance that our hs went to Trenton, they didn't get it until Oct. '07. :mad: Our first match was in May '08 and the child had a condition we flat out noted as outside our parameters, but we were considering it anyway. Thing is, she was 2yo and couldn't walk yet. She had a suspect MRI and we wanted it reviewed. Because we couldn't get it done quickly enough for them, they asked if we minded them going to the second family in line. We told them it was fine (since there were two major issues--not just the one). Second match was about a month later. We accepted although we noted we weren't med frag and this was a preemie being discharged with a lot of issues (which we were okay with, but we'd been foster parents so we knew he probably should've been med frag). They said they'd train us on the specific stuff because it was an adoptive placement. Mom had multiple prior TPRs and came to NJ to give birth hoping to avoid TPR on this one. They called 30mins before he was due to arrive at my house to tell me he was going to a med frag home and they hoped that home would adopt him. GRRRRRR... Then we had a new RW who was holy heck and managed to get us placed on hold for the entire summer. Getting OFF hold was a nightmare. And apparently, she spoke to someone in Trenton because when I checked in with Trenton in Sept., they said that I didn't want a "special needs" child (which 1) wasn't true; and 2) wasn't an option on the form), that I only wanted one child (vs. sibs) and that I wanted a young child (under 4yo--I had a 4yo son already). She said "We'll never have a child for you." I told her that was fine, but keep me active anyway "just in case". The nightmare RW had moved on at this point and I spoke to the supv who'd been with us through the last 3 RWs. I asked if our profile was really that exacting. She looked it over and was confused herself because it was not. I told her they'd HAD two matches for us earlier that year--how could she say she'd never have a match for us? The supv asked me to give her a week or so to look into it. I never called her about it again. I really just wrote it off and made my peace with never adopting. Eight weeks later they called with my daughter. She was 7 days old and a SafeHaven baby. Actually, when they called, she WAS a SafeHaven baby; but mom came back and gave some (MINIMAL) information--which technically disqualifies her as SafeHaven, but whatever. She just turned 2yo on Sunday and is an absolute joy. Took almost a year to get the adoption finalized. Every time they went to court, they had done something they didn't need to do and forgotten something they needed.