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We are 30 days before our son is to be placed with us permantly. He has been in the foster care system for several years. We have done everyething we needed to do. ICPC was approved in July. He has had one pre-adoption visit with us (we had him for a week). I have known him for over a year, and we have been working on this adoption for close to 9 months. He has a sister that aged out of the system about 3 years ago. He has not had any contact with her since then. Per the caseworker, the sister has had a long standing issue with drugs, and had remained in contact with the birth parents (The abusers!) I recieved a phone call from my son's therapist (he is currently in a behavorial facility) Thursday night. He told me that he had gotten an email from the CW, stating that the sister contacted her, and wants to see her brother. The email also stated that she is moving out of state in a week. I think my jaw dropped when I heard this news. Please understand, DH and I think it is important for our son to have contact with his bio sister, but only if she is clean, and does not still have contact with the bio parents. (I guess I should tell you that my son is close to 15) My son states he wants to see his sister, but he is very angry with her. He also told me that he wants to be with us, and have DH and I be his parents. :woohoo: I am a bit upset that the CW did not at least copy me on this email, or let me know this. I had to hear it from the therapist. I emailed the CW to just touch base on this, and have the big question answered... Is there a possibility that we will lose him???? :grr: I am very stressed about this, I have not slept in 3 days, and I am afraid of losing him to the sister. Maybe I am just being silly, but could this be a real possibility?? The sister is nearly 21 now. Any advice anyone has for me would be welcome. I know I should just wait to hear from the CW, and get the answer from her, but I wanted to know if anyone had any similar experiences. There is a visit scheduled for the middle of the week (supervised by the therapist). I can only hope that she wants to see him before she moves out of state to make sure he is ok. That would be best case seniaro.
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CW was very wrong for not including you - or at least informing you. Right before DD moved out of state to be with us, all sorts of people from her past (including BM) started demanding visits. It was very stressful. I, too, always worried what the implications were. I worried a lot - for no reason. If your icpc is approved, the state's plan of record is to move him to you. Closure visits can be very cathartic. hang in there
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So the sister never did see him. She flaked out and did not call the therapist back when he tried to schedule a visit. The CW and I talked last night for close to 2 hours. Turns out this is a pattern.. She also confirmed my fear that she is still in contact with the bio mom and stepfather (the people the kids were removed from). The CW told me that at this point, since she found that out (yesterday) she will NOT ALLOW the visit to happen, should she actually call. So that helped ease my mind a bit. We talked to our son last night, and explained this to him. He stated he does not want to see her if she is going to tell them anything. He is afraid of them finding him. DH and I assured him that will not happen.