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Does anyone know if DYFS would place a child with someone the birthmom knows over a stranger? NO relatives at all were found.
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in our case, DCYF in MA gives the parent the right to nominate a caregiver. DCYF has the obligation to consider the person. Person needs to pass a CORI (background) test, home inspection, etc.
The key was "consider"
DD's mom gave her recommendation right before she was about to move in with us (a couple months after we had started weekend sleepovers are moving towards the move). They did the background ceck, but opted not to do the homestudy, as they felt we were in her best interest
hope that helps
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Hard to give details, as we never know who is reading this. Bmom wants to TPR, child is in fost/adopt with elderly relatives. Her CW said that if she had a certified fost/adopt home she wanted him to go to they would give that family first preference, over any random foster/adopt home.
Knowing DYFS, they are not always truthful, so I am wondering if I should bother to hope at all...
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kikismom
hhow long have you had this child? are they bonded? and how old is the child?
I do not have the child at all. Her elderly relatives do, they are licensed for SN foster care, they are not interested in adopting. So, the child will be moved either way, probably after the next cort date where voluntary TPR will be for other birth parents. Bmom hopes to move the child here instead of a family DYFS selects. CHild is 2 1/2.
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Hmm, if you're not currently a licensed foster/adopt home I doubt the mom can say she wants you to adopt her child. That's more of a private adoption situation. Obviously the child came into fostercare for a reason. This reason put the child at risk. If she had offered you as a fosterhome for her child at the time of placement you could have gotten emergency certification (you would have had to pass a homestudy) and then you'd likely be the family considered for adoption. Now, I'm not so sure.
But, she should speak up and work with her attorney to see what rights she has. Can she do a vol surrender to a non approved home? That's the question she should ask. The child's case will go straight to the adoption unit in Trenton. She would go from the relatives to an adoption approved home.
Best to you.
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vernellinnj
Hmm, if you're not currently a licensed foster/adopt home I doubt the mom can say she wants you to adopt her child. That's more of a private adoption situation. Obviously the child came into fostercare for a reason. This reason put the child at risk. If she had offered you as a fosterhome for her child at the time of placement you could have gotten emergency certification (you would have had to pass a homestudy) and then you'd likely be the family considered for adoption. Now, I'm not so sure.
But, she should speak up and work with her attorney to see what rights she has. Can she do a vol surrender to a non approved home? That's the question she should ask. The child's case will go straight to the adoption unit in Trenton. She would go from the relatives to an adoption approved home.
Best to you.
Thank you. We ARE an approved home. She was going to adopt him privately but DYFS got him in their custody first (I am not at liverty to say why). DYFS told her they can move him to an approved home if she knew someone. That someone is us.
I am just wondering if DYFS will stay to their word or do what they do best and lie. (Just to shut her up) :/
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I would think that yes, you could get him, as you could be considered kin. Do you know the child? Do you have a relationship with him at all? I've heard family friends are considered kinship placements.
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I must have misunderstood you - sorry.
If you are an approved home you should be able to get the child. Stay on the caseworker and casework supervisor, etc.(the relatives should be able to give you the names of the CW, assuming you have a relationship with them). Also see if the mom can get her attorney to speak with the child's Law Guardian to see if he/she can help with facilitating the mom's wishes.
You're right in thinking that the "system" doesn't always do what they say they will do.
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Thanks for the advice.
We do have the CW name. I think I will have my resource worker call her CW. They do not work out of the same office but are only about 15 minutes apart and do sometimes work together (the 2 offices, I mean). I don't want to be a pest (yet) but I WILL do whatever it takes to get him here.
I so hope this works out. We do not have a relationship with the child, but there is no other family. It would be either us or a random family.
Bmom already called her SW. Another person involved closely with this case is calling Monday and I will call my resource worker on Monday.
We were hoping to get him here before the 11/11 court date, but I doubt that will happen knowing how slow they work.
Keeping my fingers crossed it ends up well and hoping it does not take a year :(
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It sounds like she wants to do an Identified Surrender to you. That should not be a problem for DYFS if you are a licensed home. I would however find out if they would consider this a kinship placement or not (since you are friends). The post adoption services are very different for kinship vs. regular subsidized adoption.
My current case is considered kinship because I am friends with FC mom. While in care, FC gets her regular monthly stipend plus free daycare. If her case should go to adoption all of that would likely cease. If subsidy is important/necessary in your case make sure you find out what services you would receive post adoption.
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The birthmom went to court today. She made her wishes known to her worker, the judge and the lawyer. It appears that in the last couple of months, a therapist that was working with 2 of the foster kids in the same home as this child fell in love with J. She took the PRIDE classes and is still not approved, but apparently approved enough to move J into her home as a foster/adoptive placement.
The Bmom is very upset and we are crushed. The lawyer said he would work on this, but the supervisor won't be moved. She knows this person and is set on letting her adopt him.
I knew DYFS was unethical, but really? Lets just ignore the Bmoms wishes and let your friends have first pick.
ugh.
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Well, after dealing with the CW Supv on my ad's case, it doesn't sound odd at all; but it sounds like something that you can try to argue.
That being said, I think bm might have to make a point about why she wants you to adopt the child vs. the therapist because they will argue that the therapist has some level of familiarity with the child and the child's environment in a way that you don't.
Yes, usually, if they CAN respect the parents wishes and keep the child in a safe situation, they're supposed to.
And here's another thing: they may try to bully you by saying that you could have the child if you did KLG (where you wouldn't get any support or help from the state to care for the child).
In addition to mom's lawyer getting involved, make sure they get the CHILD'S lawyer involved. And if it happens to be a county that has a CASA assigned to cases, have them check in with the CASA and get them on board, too.
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