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Hello,
22 yrs. ago I gave up my first born for adoption. I made some mistakes when I first got into contact w/her. I made a comment about her parent's marriage not being right because it was her mom's second marriage and I told her I have a mental disability. Because, her mom says, she doesn''t understand my comment about her parent's marriage and because I have a mental disability she doesn't want to meet me.
To be honest I'm not devistated just disapointed. I have waited a long time just to have the priviledge of talking to her on the phone briefly, and now it's over.
Her mom says she may change her mind in the future, possibly after she has her own baby, but for right now the door is SHUT.
What should I do? My comment about her mom and dad
was not said out of anger and maliciousness, but out of love and concern. But she won't budge. She will not return my calls or letters. I found her on facebook too but won't accept me as a friend.
This is difficult because she is friends with my cousin and former legal guardian who MADE me give her up for adoption and friends with her daughter, but not with me.
Rhonda
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As an adoptee I can only give you my take on things. At 22yrs old I had no desire to search or meet Bmom. In fact if asked I would straight out say so and at the time I meant it. Also, if anyone said anything negative about Aparents I probably wouldn't care to speak with them fursther.
It sound like she probably is just not read and maybe feels a little put off by your comment.
I see that you do have contact with Amom so that is good for when she is ready for contact.
EZ
My heart goes out to you. I have a 22 year old sister and your daughters reaction is exactly what I would expect from my sister. My (a)parents lied to me about even being adopted with it all coming out kind of traumatically and my sisterҒs response was it isnt that big of a deal, you should just be glad they adopted you. Your daughter may eventually change her mind but some of it I canҒt help but thinking is that generation. They are not relationalӔ, they live in virtual worlds attached to iPods and cell phones. I am sorry she is friends with your cousin and former legal guardian that has to make it tougher. Hopefully someday your daughter will understand that you had not meant to cause harm, sadly I would say trying contact will probably just make it worst.