What To Expect If I Take in Child From Another Race

I don't have much time now, so I will come back later with more, but wanted to say I am white with two white kids and three AA kids and some people still assume the AA kids are mine biologically. That's all for now, nap time, but I promise to come back.

Okay, Gigi. Your Wal-Mart post is what got me thinking.

Okay ... in a nutshell I think all of the celebrity trans-cultural adoptions have helped make it more mainstream. In the 4.5 years that we've been doing this, the feedback from people of all races has been very positive. Surely there are some people disapprove but luckily they've kept to themselves. We are white in a very white area so there will be challenges in our future. We've done what we can to increase the brown faces in our lives, which is a tricky thing because of course you don't want to run up to an AA family and say "be our friends, our kids need AA role models!" But we joined the bigger gym a little further away with more diversity. We're starting to do more with the local FAFS group. We're very lucky in having hit it off with a few families like our own--which again is actually tricky because while I'm thrilled my kids won't feel like the only ones like this, I don't want them thinking that AA kids are always adopted/raised by white people. Staying in touch and visiting their bio-family as much as possible is a priority and I know that in the future if my kids want to go spend some time with their older brothers/sisters they will be able to and that will be so good for them. The bottom line is going to be a home filled with love and whatever challenges come up, you're going to meet them together. Hope this helps a little, please let me know if I can try to be more specific.

more: My older kids had to learn early on that they couldn't make E have to be "the brown one" when playing pretend (like he has to be Green Lantern when playing superheroes, no, he can pretend to be any superhero, not just the brown one) My then-4-year old son once called him "a monkey because he's brown" in front of an AA worker and I thought I was going to die. My kids' school does a 2nd grade "wax museum" in which they get to dress up as a famous person. I wouldn't feel comfortable if one of my white kids wanted to be an AA person, only because I think they'd insist on painting their faces and that'd be terrible...but I wonder what's going to happen when the smaller kids get to 2nd grade. Will they feel like they must pick an AA person? (Which of course would be fine) Or would they want to do a white person and would they want to try to use face paint? I'm kind of just running at the mouth now but just to point out there are so many little things that will always be coming up, we'll just cross each bridge as we get to it.

Hi, I am a african american ( black ) male. My thoughts are this. I think that it would be alright for a child to be raised up by a race different than their own provided that the child is exposed to their own race. The reason being is racial identity is very crucial, though the times that we live in are a lot different than the ones that my grandparents were raised in, there are still going to be people of both races that are going to view the child negatively and if the child does not have a strong foundation on knowing about them selves and not being afraid to be proud of who they are and where they came from and to also be just as proud of who loves them and is providing for them regardless of race than the kid will fail no matter what ethnicity they are. The truth of the matter is other little black kids might treat them differently especially if they do not have a sense of their own identity and attempt to view themselves as not being black. Ideally we would like the world to accept all people for who they are and not what they are, until we are able to obtain that state of utopia than we have to raise our kids up to be proud of what they are and where their heritage has brought them from. I feel inspired reading about you two ladies who are willing to take in a black, brown, yellow baby and love that baby unconditionally. That in itself shows that there is hope for this world. I wish you both the best and God Bless you.

I do have a number of black friends and my secretary at work has a bi-racial daughter and she has promised to help me with the hair, if I happen to get a girl:) But ultimately I am white, my son is white and my next child might be another race. I don't want to cause DAMAGE to a kid by screwing with his/her ethnic identity. But since there are more black foster kids than black foster parents, I figure it is just good for the kid to have a HOME. I guess I want to be OPEN to everything/everyone/every color and figure the Universe will match me with whomever I am supposed to have. And if my parents said they would be perfectly happy to wind up with one white grandchild (mine), one Hispanic grandchild (my nephew) and one black grandchild (if that is who gets placed with me:))

I'm a single white mon too. My AS is biracial and my FD is as well. Those who know me know my situation but honestly I think strangers just assume my children are my bio's. I can't count how many times people have told me how much my kids look like me and none of us are genetically related to each other. I think its probably more "noticable" if a two parent family is one race and their children are of another race. That being said I do think about the kids ethnic backround and try to address it when I can. I make sure to buy kids books with children of different races. I am lucky to live in a racially diverse area so my kids see many other children who look like them every day. I don't worry about it too much though to be honest. I think of it this way, given the choice would my child wish to be with me, have a loving happy home that he knows he could depend on, or would he prefer to wait, for what could be years, in limbo until/if ever another family came along who looked like him could be his forever family.

I just moved here from Texas where I was a single foster parent. Let me say that I was open to race because in Texas there are a large number of bi-racial children. I am african american, I had three Mexican children a brother and sister together and then a baby. I could care less what people thought when they saw me, I have a bunch of Mexican friends who I called on when I could not get the kids to eat what I cooked. They helped with food and the rest was just parenting. As long as you are committed to learning about the heritage and teaching the child who cares if he is a different color. When someone would make a comment to me about having non black kids I would ask them if they were foster parents as well because if you are not going to step up then shut up!

In this day and age, I don't think this is true. Strangers are strangers because they don't know you.How are they to know he/she is adopted? You could've had a sperm donor, or had a fling, your husband or partner (they won't immediately know you're single if they're strangers) could be non-white? How would they know without knowing you first. Even people who know you, if you don't tell them, they might think you had a donor or just got knocked up by someone of a different ethnicity.My point is, you can be white as snow and still have a biological child who is darker than you are, because children take after both parents, and they could've had a biological father with dark skin.For example, doesn't president Obama have a white american mother and a black kenyan father? Do you think people thought he was adopted as his mother raised him, growing up? Just food for thought :)

I have two white kids and three black. We live in a very racially diverse neighborhood, with lots of moms and dads that don't match, so I feel very lucky in that regard.I definitely do go out of my way to make sure my African American kids have African American role models. They go to a dance studio owned by a black woman, several of their teachers are AA and they see black (and all races of people) in their everyday lives - doing everyday things.I also encourage my kids to spend time with their African American friends in their homes and with their parents. I want them to feel what it is like to be around intact black families.I almost never get comments - the occasional, "You have a beautiful family," which is always nice to hear- eventhough it may be pointing out our racial differences. I remember asking my 12 year old AA daughter once, "Is it weird that you have a white mom?" And she said, "No, I'm adopted!" Out of the mouths of babes...

All these comments are great! Thanks.

I think that it has alot to do with where you are. I live in a very small, white town. The amount of hate, negative comments I have encountered was very surprising and saddening.

Giselle, I am sorry that you have had to endure that kind of bigotry. I always remind people that the bible says "whomshall ever receive these children in my name, not only receives me but the one who sent me."