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My name is Missy. My husband and I have 3 bio children but would like to adopt at least one more child. We are just starting to research information about adoption; we will attend the Hillsborough County Kids orientation meeting this week.
My first question is: are newborns available through foster care for adoption? I get attached very easily, therefore I could not foster, strictly adopt.
If you can adopt a newborn, would there have to be a reason why: such as drug use by birth mother? What would other reasons be if the baby is a few days old?
Is the stipend only during the adoption process or until the child is 18 years old?
I have so many questions; so glad I found this site.
Thank you,
Missy
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Uhhh....did you really mean to imply that we foster parents are less feeling than you are, and somehow don't get attached? I assure you, we get REALLY attached to our foster kids, just like any parent would do.(Deep breath...)Okay. Yes, sometimes you can adopt newborns. No, it's almost never without fostering them first. Even safe haven babies are placed in foster situations until they are legally free for adoption. Some fostering situations are more certain than others, though---in some cases, it's just a formality, while in others, a serious attempt to rehabilitate the parents is going to be made.Babies are removed for many reasons, including drug use by the parents, but also because of domestic violence in the home, mental illness, previous issues with other children, and the presence of an unsafe person in the home. But drug use is probably the most common. Some drug exposure is more serious than others---light cocaine use usually doesn't have much permanent effect on the child, while heavy alcohol use can be devastating.These days, cash stipends for adoption are more and more rare. The number of children coming into the system is declining dramatically (in our county, it's literally 50% of what it was five years ago). The number of people who want to adopt from foster care is rising. The state only provides a stipend when it can't find anybody to adopt without one. In the case of a healthy, legally free newborn, my guess is that people are stacked up 10 deep to adopt the very rare child who enters the system like that. So I would not count on a stipend.I'm a bit concerned that your questions seem fairly focused on how a child might meet the needs of you and your family. That's pretty normal for prospective foster and adoptive parents entering the system, but it's really important to make an effort to change your way of thinking so that it centers on the child's need for a family, rather than on the family's need for a child. Can I recommend an AWESOME book? Joyce Maguire Pavao's "Family of Adoption." You can get it on Amazon. (I don't have any connection to the author, I just think it's a terrific book).Good luck!
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You asked a question and got an honest answer. You will learn a lot at the meeting you will attend. When I spoke to our local office, they would not accept anyone only interested in newborns because they are so rare. Also some places don't do straight adoption, but others do. Good luck in your journey!
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