Holiday Blues

Not sure how I missed this post, but I have definitely gone into the holiday blues this week. It being my first year since placement I'm sure that has a lot to do with it, but for me in general I always get a little bummed when the holiday doesn't live up to my hopes. So this year I'm feeling it even more but at least I have the adoption to point to as a cause. I just try to remember the good things in my life and focus on those and I also am going to try to treat Christmas like any other time, just a normal day where I happen to be around a little more family than usual. I hope you're able to find some happiness in the next month and if you don't, at least realize you're not alone.

I am so glad that someone else feels this way. I wanted to post something about horrible holidays but everyone else seemed so upbeat and cheery. As a child the holidays were horrible, torturous times that I hate to remember. As an adult I have volunteered to work them all just so I don't have to deal with it. I used to schedule a large vacation for my birthday (new years eve) just so I had something to get me through. Now that I am a mom people expect me to just turn on a switch and be the happy holiday decorator and go into full martha stewart mode. Thankfully the kids are small (3 & 5) and they don't realize yet my lack of enthusiasm. The first Christmas the baby was in the hospital, the second I had to work (and we went to Disney Jan 2) but this year there is no escaping it and financially I cant afford another big trip just now. I still don't have a tree but i bought gifts. We'll probably do the tree this weekend, cookies the next just so I can give them some sort of festivities. But personally I like best when I can just beg off because of work and they go over to my friends house where I have their gifts and she does all the singing, cooking, holiday and family stuff. I so hate the holidays and now I have the added guilt of what I;m teaching the children. I'm trying but its hard.