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i found out in 6th grade..im almost 19 now...but anyway...we were doing this genetic thing with our family project in class...like identifying features and all that jazz..i looked at me my mom and my dad and realized im the only one with a cleft chin. thats something that you get directly from your parents...so i asked why do i have a cleft chin and you dont? and they told me i was adopted. i was pretty shocked at first and then i was kind of happy...i dont know why...but it wasn't a horrible experience though i did stay in my room for a while and didnt talk to anyone. they thought i was mad but really i was just trying to take it all in.
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How has it gone for you since you discovered you were adopted? The one thing I was promised was that my son would always know that he was adopted. I don't know for sure when or how they told him, but it was very early. (A couple of years later they adopted a girl from Korea so I suspect he was told then if not before.) I need to ask him sometime.
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