My story

That is such a crazy way to find out you were adopted. It seems so odd to me that people adopt children thinking they will never tell them, as if they can make believe they gave birth to a child and not take into considerations all the ramifications of what this lieӔ could cause. My biological father has a skin disorder that his offspring have a 50/50 chance of developing, it can cause anything from bumps on your skin to brain tumors, I think that was important for me to know. Not to mention that my biological father is a very evil man, what if he had tracked me down before I even knew I was adopted. I do get some of the reasons for why parents lie, but in my family I mostly believe my adoptive mother is very selfish and immature. For me being open about the truth, freed me and took a huge burden off my shoulders that I didnt even know I was carrying since I was almost 28 when I found out. My adoptive mother cut all ties with me for wanting to know and live in the truth, but I am not ashamed of who I am and for me living a life of truth is more important than having a ғmother. I commend your strength, even if I had wanted to keep quiet I donԒt think I could have, but only you know whether this has been to your benefit or detriment. Either way, do not carry their burden, be proud of who you are.

Jess, I remember the day even though it has been about 40 years. I like you was about 12 and being summer I too was rummaging through some boxes looking at old pictures ans stuff of my adopted family. I am the oldest and the strange thing I have a vivid memory of going to get my sister from Catholic Charities I was almost 3 at the time. well back to my story by the way my adopted mom has 5 of her own children she had after adopting me and my sister. So anyway I was in a box of stuff and found these papers and I think they were my adoption papers I took them to my adopted mom and she ripped them up in front of me and told she she had been telling me all along (well I dont remember), but now everything came into place in my mind why I was so much taller than everyone, I had darker skin, very straight hair, wore glasses and did not look like anyone I thought was my family. I am off my soapbox now but I can relate

Thank you for sharing your stories. I hope my baby girl (18 years old now, gulp) was told from the day she could understand. It is so damaging to keep secrets. You sound like you're calm in accepting your adoption. I'm glad for you that it didn't cause negative feelings.-T, a birth mom

How did you go about telling your parents that you found out? I just found out yesterday and I know I should ask the truth but I'm afraid (I'm confused as to what I'm afraid of). My father is overseas and won't be back til Dec. I'm 25.How did you parents react? I will post my own thread when I get the time to sit down and sort out my thoughts.

Don't know if this will help, but am just gob-smacked when I hear about anyone who didn't tell their child. Have 3 adopted cousins... everyone knew, since forever. Nothing was ever hidden, no one was ever thought of as less or better, just different pathways to parenthood. There were relatives who didn't parent also... it just seemed like there were lots of choices about how to live life, how to be or not be parents.Just simply cannot imagine what it would be like to find out, instead of knowing all along. "Yesterday"... your head and heart must be spinning. Hope you have good support in friends, etc. It's possible that some adoption officials mistakenly told your parents this was the thing to do, the best for you.

I asked my parents after a few weeks because like you I was scared. I brought it up slowly to be honest by telling them what I saw. They were not ready to talk about it at first and my mother cried, but give them time because I found that my mother was just afraid I wouldn't view her as my mom and love get less. Just assure them that biological or not that's your parents they raised you and you love them. Good luck :)