Questioning

I was twenty-years-old when I found out I was three months pregnant. With my ex-boyfriend's child. We had been together for over five years, and he had broken up with me two months earlier for another girl the day that we were supposed to move into our first apartment together (he had lived with me and my family for the entire previous year). I was living on my own for the first time and trying to support myself. So...I was more than a little emotional. For about a week and a half my mother and myself were the only two who knew. She knew that I was stressing out about what I was going to do, and she came to me with the idea to have my brother and sister-in-law adopt the baby. They have been together for eight years, married for two, and have been trying to have children for five. In all honesty, this was the first thing that popped into my head when I saw those two lines on that stick. So, I approached them about it, and they took about two weeks to think about it before deciding that they could and would adopt the baby. So, she was present at all of my doctor's appointments (they live about an hour away and she only ever missed two, she came to all those five minute appointments), and we found out that it was a boy at thirty-two weeks (he was hiding it all behind his umbilical cord!). I was present at the baby shower, I even helped her open presents and was fully acknowledged by everyone as the birthmother. Everyone in my family was and has been so supportive. I had to go into the hospital when I was a week overdue due to high blood-pressure, and was gently induced until he was born on May fourth, my sister-in-law's birthday. My hospital only allows a certain amount of people in the room during the actual delivery, and so I had my mother, my brother, and my sister-in-law there for the birth. In the hospital, I was fine emotionally. I even said that it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. It was after they brought him to their home (again, an hour away) that I suddenly felt like someone had ripped him away from me. I've seen him three times since then, but two of those times it was for only about thirty minutes and I had to "share" him with everyone else who wanted to hold him. I am still his legal mother, the only right that they have is that I gave them medical power of attorney so that if anything happened over there, they could take him to the hospital with no complications. I am having such a hard time, and I have this thought that I may have made the wrong decision, or that I jumped into that because I was scared. I asked if I could have him for this upcoming weekend- just to see what I felt- and my brother just broke down and kept saying that he's his son and that if I had him for the weekend, I'd never give him back. I know that ALL of this is sooo unique, but am I making a mistake by spending that time with him? I know that adoptions fall through all the time, but I know that this would devastate them to no end. But it's better to make this decision based on what I feel as right, not on trying to avoid stepping on anyone's toes....right?