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S had to go to the Dr. the other day she had a fever and a nasty cough. So I get there, check in, try to entertain her in the waiting area for 45 minutes, the usual. Then the nurse comes out calls her name, we head back...the whole office has to come oooh and ahhh at her curls :eyebrows: Which of course gave this momma a bit of an ego boost, not gonna lie. But then I got the question hubby got the first time he took her in by himself...."So what is your relation to S?" Which was a tad nicer than hubby got "Who are you to her?"
Yes, we are about the whitest people on the planet, we don't tan and most days you can see my veins through my pastey skin. And S is a very beautiful brown. But really what are they thinking? That we just pick up sick kids and take them to the Dr. for the heck of it?!? :grr:
It probably wouldn't have rubbed me the wrong way if we haven't been going there for the past 2 yrs, seriously S was 5 days old the first time there, and this was a nurse we'd seen before! And since we get the question so much S has started screaming "My MOMMY!" to everyone we pass, ANYWHERE! It's almost like she's trying to avoid the question! Can't people just let us be a family!
Alright rant over, thanks for listening if you got this far!
And you didn't pop her? The 45 min. wait with a sick kid would have put me in a foul mood to begin with but then to be asked who I am? O...M...G...
Oh wow. You need more than a rant, I'd say! ((HUGS))
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I would ask that it be put in her file (that your an adoptive family) & when asked tell the person to read the file-I would not answer them again never mind 2 years later. If that doesn't work find a new MD (it is important- no matter how busy a MD office is to know you & that your an adoptive family) Medically it is important a medical professional know that the child is adopted & doesn't share your medical history.
I was soooooo sick of being asked if I breast fed my than foster baby(not the same race as me) I said "if you ask me that again I won't be back" I found a new MD (yes even w/medicaid) & he can actually remember the make up of my family.
I would have been really upset by that after 2 years at the office as well. Good grief! They must have a really short memory there to make the same mistake twice with you and with your DH!
Sorry, that's really obnoxious and uncaring of them. If they're wondering, even, "She's your daughter, correct?" would have been more polite.
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*hugs*
Since I'm biracial CC/AA and my daughter is AA I haven't gotten questions like that so far, but my husband who is whiter than white often gets looks when we're out together. It's sad that in 2010 some people still have such a a singular view of family.
Ugh. Where do these people come from?? Sorry you had to go through that...but you handled it better than I would have! I've only had one person question who I was to Cam. That woman thought I was my DD's GRANDMOTHER. :rolleyes: I mean, I am not 18, but at 39 I don't look like I should be rolling up with a walker either. Sigh. The woman was so confused, because surely my pasty white self could not possibly be the mother of this beautiful brown baby.
People? Please get a life. Move about in the world a little more. ;)
Ugh! Yeah, that would bug. I could see a paramedic or dr at an ER asking that, but not someone at your regular pedi. I think I would change doctors, especially since it's happened before.
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Seriously!! Ridlicious! I agree with the others, if after two years they can't get it right it's time to move on.
I have a similar story. When DD was born we went to our (then) pedi and I explained DD was adopted, blah, blah. I mostly took her for her visits but one day DH took her. They had never seen him before so they called me. I'm glad they were aware someone other than me was bringing DD to the doctor but like you said, we don't randomly pick up sick kids and take them to their physician. *SHEESH*
We go today for her 2 year check up and shots...we'll see what happens. I will be asking the doctor to mark our file again if we are asked the same question today. I plan on looking for a new pediatrician with the new year if it happens again today.
Hmmm... And then there is the dr, who proceeds to tell me about all the other adopted children who visit him. Haven't they ever heard of confidentiality??? It's a small town and I think I probably know who they are already but still! It is medically relevant but that would be like the dr telling you all the other cases of X medical issue he's seen, including the kids' names and where they live often as not. But they wouldn't do that. It's only adoption that can be broadcast.