Advertisements
I am LIVID at this episode MTV has aired tonight.
I think this show is giving all girls considering adoption the wrong idea. nThey may think that they can just go get their child back whenever they want too. That is not how it works, and this episode has sincerely ticked me off.
And she still hasn't made a decision?! I think this is terrible.
If people don't think that I want to go get my son every single day then they are dead wrong. I want my son every second, but I'm not selfish enough to give him to someone, and then take him back, because I "want too"
Its so frustrating. Sorry, had to vent.
Like
Share
Advertisements
Rachie3
And, I'm well aware that this is a public forum. My misunderstanding was that I thought it was for support.
Advertisements
Uhh well, thanks for your input, but No thanks. If you're going to tell me how I'm feeling and what my "triggers are" Don't post on my stuff, because that doesn't help anything.
Brock- I understand where you're coming from, and again, I apologize- I probably did take it the wrong way. Ever since the adoption, I am very defensive as an instinct...very protective of myself and everything I say-guess I'm going to have to let that go. I didn't mean when I said don't post-that was rude, you're right. No excuse.
Wow, it took them SO LONG to finally get to Ashley.I don't watch the show but I know how this ends IRL, but won't spoil it for those watching. Some of us knew about Ashley when she was still pregnant and watched this all play out on her website and through emailing with her. This story has lots of twists and turns but Ashley is a VERY sweet gal and deserves much better than she ever got in life. She is incredibly talented but has had some hard knocks that have cut her off at the knees. Yet, she always gets back up. I hope her life will improve and she can live out her dreams despite the losses she suffered. Callie is a much loved little darling girl.edited for spelling
Advertisements
Rachie3, I see you just placed a baby and mentioned you would love to have him back too. Have you asked your family members for help raising him and is there any way you could raise him yourself? I don't know what your revolk laws are and if you can still reclaim your child in your state.edited to add, I see later in the post you said more about not reclaiming your son and never being selfish enough to reclaim him(your description). I think ALL Mother's need time after the child is born to rethink this HUGE decision they made while in a crisis pregnancy and under the influence of raging hormones in a crisis situation and do not think it is selfish of you to reconsider raising your own child. I do not think the 9 months of pregnancy prepares ANYONE for the reality of living with this huge loss and the child who also has to live with this huge loss and as an adoptee myself I would hope that the decision to put me out of my family was not made lightly or only once during a crisis pregnancy. So if you ever reconsider raising your son (even if you do NOT reclaim him), I would not see it as "selfish" at all but a very maternal, loving and mature action;~))
Thanks Legal, you kinda hit the nail right on the head. Thats what I was trying to say, in a mean way-My hormones still aren't too balanced ;) I don't think she is selfish-poor choice of words.
If I could raise him, I would. But the truth is, I can't. And I would not revoke anything, I guess my instinct is just telling me this is what is best for him.
She is a sweet girl, I thought that was really cool that she did the blog thing-very different than any other episode-I wish I could have been reading it all along too!!
Rachie~
As an adoptive mother of a beautiful 8 month old, I am AMAZED with the strength, clarity and maturity that my daughter's birthmother possesses. She is a very intelligent and talented young woman who also loves our little girl in ways, I am sure that only you and others who have been there can imagine.
I am glad that there are those out there like she and you, who know the value of stability in the precious life they have created and I have great respect that it saddens you to see that stability disrupted. That shows your level of maturity and love for your child. I talk to my daughter's birthmother at least weekly and love her as family. God brought our families together and I could not have imagined a better relationship between us all.
Your story sounds kind of similar to my own. I love my sons parents more than anything in the world..besides my son ;) But I love talking to them and I don't think I could live without talking to them and making sure he is okay ALL the time.
For the first month, I would wake up 5 or 6 times a night (If able to sleep at all) Wondering if he was hungry, if he needed a diaper change, if he missed me. My baby loved to be swaddled. if he wasn't swaddled, he was NOT a happy camper. So, that was another huge worry. If they were swaddling him properly, or if it were too tight or loose. It sounds crazy, but I'm still so worried about it on a daily basis.
Your childs bmom sounds wonderful-I hope she's coming to peace with her decision and that she can sleep at night knowing how well her baby is being taken care of.
Advertisements
I thought it was sad,that she took her baby back 2 days later,Just to send her back a month later.I thought when she went back for her baby,she was going to keep her.I don't think she was trying to be selfish,But I was dissapointed that this baby had to go through this.I hope this doesn't stop her from bonding well with her parents.
A baby's memory is so short when they are that young that I'm most positive the baby wasn't affected at all by the placing, unplacing, and then finally being placed situation. I parented my son for 2 1/2 months and my aunt adopted him and I visited with him 2 weeks after placing and he already didn't recognize my voice anymore. I know this is about to be an opinion that doesn't agree with the original post but here I go anyways...I am glad I got the experience of parenting. Nothing is ever going to give me 100% peace that I made the right decision, but I know I feel even more confidence with my decision than I would have if I had not parented for two months (there are reasons as to why it was 2 months just for some input). If I had not parented and since it was with my aunt, I'm sure that overwhelming feeling of loss would have struck and I too would have taken him back two days later. I think my son and Ashley's daughter will be okay with the fact that we tried and parented. I'm sure I am making some people out there confused or angry with this post, but that is just how I feel. Every adoption, bmom, and amom are different.